by Stephen Gold

“Eau de Fido: Dolce & Gabbana launches luxury perfume for dogs.”
—The Times

There is no if or but,
A malodorous mutt
Is a creature it’s best not to meet.
But my God! On what grounds
Can a perfume for hounds
Be decently sold on the street?

Yet a king of couture
Has come up with a “cure,”
To ensure darling Fido won’t stink.
He thinks his solution
Beats simple ablution.
The fellow should visit a shrink!

This distasteful debut
Is a step, in my view,
On the road to olfactory Hell.
From dachshund to husky,
Let’s keep our mutts musky,
And doggedly au naturel.