by Marshall Begel

Proxy resignations are “a rapidly growing service for Japanese workers who can’t bring themselves to hand in their notice in person.”
—The Guardian

For twenty bucks I’ll take your letter
And place it in your boss’s hand,
Explaining that this way, it’s better,
And how you hope she’d understand.

But if you can’t just walk away,
I’ll offer you this special deal:
For fifty dollars more I’ll say
Exactly how you really feel.