by Alex Steelsmith

“Ned’s shell coils to the left… making him the 1 in 40,000 snails whose sex organs don’t line up
with those of the rest of their species. Unless another lefty snail is found, the young gastropod
faces a lifetime of unintentional celibacy… [New Zealand Geographic] magazine launched a
nationwide campaign to find a mate for Ned… But his inbox has remained empty…”
—The Associated Press

Woefully, ruefully,
gastropod advocates
find that his inbox is
empty. Is Ned

destined to live as a
celibatarian?
Maybe they need to try
snail mail instead.