(inspired by a misleading headline)

by Marshall Begel

“Officials will flush 50,000 toilets to flood a Utah lake in order to generate electricity”
—Fortune (The article then reveals that the lake will be flooded with the *equivalent* of 50,000 toilet flushes…)

Our hydro-plant’s turbine lay still
because of the ongoing drought.
We couldn’t make power until
Officials could figure this out.

When Archie, the dam engineer
was sitting at home on the pot,
connections began to appear
that loosened this Gordian knot.

So sure of the system he modeled,
he bolted out into the street.
“Eureka!” he cried as he waddled
though town with his pants at his feet.

He called out, “I have the solution!”
The crowd held a palpable hush.
“We need everyone’s contribution—
so go to your bathrooms and flush!”

The crisis had seemingly ended,
forestalling the city’s decline.
Soon, Archie was duly commended
(but also was given a fine).