by Steven Kent

“Trump says he will miss son’s wedding to stay in DC during ‘important time’: [He] previously said he would ‘try and make’ Donald Trump Jr’s nuptials but timing is ‘not good’ for him”
—The Guardian

The wedding? I have so much on my plate:
A tournament, disrupting more elections,
Maintaining my dictatorship connections,
A gerrymander in another state,
Iran—we won already, by the way—
And on and on; my life’s a roller coaster!
I’ll send JD to take the kids a toaster
So I can go play golf on Saturday.
Each time my kids got hitched before, I came:
Ivanka, Donnie, Eric, Whatshername.