Read our current issue by clicking on the cover below. Read Light‘s poems of the week
Poems of the Week
Catch-and-Spill
by Steven Kent
“[National Enquirer Publisher] David Pecker… wrapped up his testimony on Friday afternoon after cross-
examination by Trump’s legal team. … Pecker said he had agreed to help Trump keep bad stories out of the news. …
He said explicitly, and repeatedly, that he had been doing so to help Trump’s election chances.”
—The Guardian
Though Trump tries to stay in a bubble,
His woes in the world seem to double:
The judge is quite sore,
And it’s clear that once more
Donald’s Pecker has got him in trouble.
Bad Sign
by Marshall Begel
“Tom Brady accused of ruining collectibles with shoddy autograph…”
—USA Today
We’ve come, Mr. Brady, enamored and humble.
But frankly, you’ve given us cause to call, “Fumble!”
Behind every scrimmage, we fans had your back—
We’d curse any ref who permitted a sack.
Each Super Bowl win made us proud and elated.
We never suspected those balls were deflated.
Though Patriot boosters for twenty-odd years,
We rooted (discreetly) for your Buccaneers.
The fans have delivered you stature and fame—
The least you could do is to WRITE YOUR DAMN NAME!
All Dogs Go To Heaven, Not Governors Who Shoot Them
by Paul Lander
“The Kristi Noem puppy-killing scandal, explained”
—Vox
Gov. Noem’s dog Cricket
Must’ve been right on her foot
When she shot the pooch.
Come and See
by Julia Griffin
“4 Escaped Zebras Spotted on Washington State Highway”
—The New York Times
As if we needed more foreboding dramas,
Here comes the latest news flash from North Bend:
Four zebras pound the highway—it’s the end!
Lo! the Apocalypse, in striped pajamas!
A Daily Guardian
by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons
“‘The Guardian lights very well’: how newspaper came to aid of stranded geologist
When Bryn Austin, 71, lost his bearings on an unstable cliff his favourite paper
kept him warm and helped start fire to alert rescuers”
—The Guardian
A daily Guardian looks after you,
Defending you against discomfort and
Adversity: When rocks that you accrue,
In studying the sliding of the land,
Look muddyish, your Guardian will let
You wrap them up in it. And lest your bum
Get damp, it shields you when the ground is wet.
Up cloistered cliffs, from which the drop is plumb
And where you freeze, your Guardian is what
Reheats your legs. It’s even there to get
Destroyed for you by fire to light your spot …
If no such bother, though, has happened yet,
A Guardian can entertain instead:
News snippets and the letters can be read!
Horse Power
by Alex Steelsmith
“Sen. John Hoeven said he has secured a commitment from the National Park Service to maintain wild horses
in [Theodore Roosevelt National Park]… the Park Service will abandon its proposed removal of the horses…’”
—AP
Said Hoeven: The Park Service plan to remove
its free-roaming hooved ones will never behoove
the park, and it’s not what the public endorses.
The Park Service heard, and it’s holding its horses.
Breaking News
by Steven Kent
“Workers at far-right site Gateway Pundit feared credibility issues, filing shows”
—The Guardian
Extra, Extra! Gateway Pundit might be less than credible!
(And water’s wet, the sun is hot, and hemlock is inedible.)
(For more witty poems, read our current issue or visit our Poems of the Week archive)