“Police are responding to an unconfirmed report of a mime assaulting passers-by.” —Citizen.com
He hunts in the square, on the street, in the park,
We don’t know who he is, but he’s one scary clown.
If you watch him perform you could be the next mark
Of this mime spreading chaos and mayhem downtown.
If selected you’re doomed to your hideous fate,
No you won’t hear him coming until it’s too late.
“The Griffin Warrior: A Staggering Discovery from Ancient Greece” —Greek Reporter
The Warrior was “prominent,” in status and in jaw;
The Griffin, though of ivory, was grand in beak and claw;
Combined, they were redoubtable: men staggered at the sight,
An action, I believe, not only natural but right.
Push gently on the cradle. Coo some tunes. Expect your child to fall asleep, and soon! … Regret you over-sugared Baby’s prunes? Find Baby wants to dance to any tune? … Examine why your soporific song Can’t lull your child to sleep: the tune? Your voice? The rocker that the cradle’s on is wrong? … Let science find your perfect rocker choice: U2’s lead singer, Bono! He’s your man— Lab data linked to Spotify now prove LP track “One” from Achtung Baby can Arrest your baby’s late-night urge to groove! … Be mindful of some vitriolic rhyme— Yet play “One” all the same. You need down time!
“Judge: Michigan couple must pay son $30,441 for throwing out porn collection Ruling says parents had no legal right to ‘destroy property that they dislike’ … David Werking, 43 … lived at his parents’ Grand Haven home for 10 months after a divorce” —The Guardian
I know I am only a Werking boy,
But I never grudged expense
Until my parents dared destroy
My Juggses, Chics and Gents.
I spent my days from early morn
In corporate employ,
To earn myself the daily porn
I need as a Werking boy.
I belong to the “creeps and weirdos”:
That’s speech we’re used to, true,
Like “pervy specs and beard-Os”:
But steal our porn? We sue.
My parents trashed my merchandise,
Each precious mag and toy,
And now I’m charging them full price,
To keep me a Werking boy.
So when I meet with scornful sneers,
I answer them “Baloney!
To pay this back will take you years:
Blame God and Judge Maloney.
But some day, when I’m resupplied,
I hope you might enjoy
A Penthouse tour with me for guide:
Your own little Werking boy.”
“Ireland under attack from sex-crazed spiders ‘the size of your hand'” —The Irish Post
September’s when a spider colleen’s mom Exhorts her nubile daughter to beware— X-rated movies, not a sweet rom-com, Could be what spider lads show in their lair! Red-blooded male arachnids on the prowl, As August ends, are in a mating war: Zoologists see all means fair or foul Employed by sex-crazed Irish males to score! … Don’t bother spiders on the make tonight— In Ireland, in your house! They may be dead Reluctant to attack you, but they’ll bite If you disturb them mating on your bed! Soon all the males will die, and when they do, House spiders will return your house to you!
“US supreme court refuses to block extreme Texas abortion law … ‘In reaching this conclusion, we stress that we do not purport to resolve definitively any jurisdictional
or substantive claim in the applicants’ lawsuit. In particular, this order is not based on any conclusion
about the constitutionality of Texas’s law, and in no way limits other procedurally proper challenges to the Texas law, including in Texas state courts,” the court said in the unsigned order.” —The Guardian
We stress that it isn’t our aim
To deny any substantive claim
In the applicants’ suit,
Or their right to dispute
Texas law, if they’re set on the same;
No challenge is hereby confined,
Of a proper-procedural kind;
There can be no illusion
About this conclusion,
And that’s why we’ve left it unsigned.