Poems of the Week

Just Pastry and Cheese

by Dan Campion

“President Trump kicked off his trip to Europe with a biting critique of the United States’ longtime allies, declaring at a breakfast meeting that Germany ‘is captive to Russia.’ Next to him, three of his senior officials seemed uncomfortable at times, pursing their lips and glancing away from the table. … In a statement to The Post, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, ‘[Gen. John Kelly] was displeased because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese.'”—The Washington Post

I miss my customary fare.
Alas, the sideboard’s almost bare.
I’ll look forlorn. They’ll have a heart
And send a proper breakfast cart.
My President is speaking, though—
I’ll do my best to smile and glow. . .
Nope, nothing doing. In a pet,
A four-star needs an omelet.

After The Visit Is Over . . .

by Jerome Betts

It’s hardly civil in a guest
To stab his hostess in the chest
With praise of one more crass buffoon
Who hopes to dispossess her soon.
Bad form, not cricket, bloody bumptious—
Or should we rather term it Trumptious?

No More

by Julia Griffin

(with apologies to Byron)

“Now experts say it’s possible the Supreme Court could reverse the landmark ruling that legalised abortion nationwide in America more than 40 years ago.”—ABC News [Australia]

So, we’ll bet no more on Rovie,
For years a legal right;
The Court has long been mauvey;
It’s looking red tonight.

For a law’s good health depends
On favor more than truth,
And Rovie has few friends
But Elena, Sonia, Ruth;

And though they’re holding steady,
I’m very much afraid
That the tide has turned already.
Watch poor Rovie wade.

The Final Straw

by Bruce McGuffin

“[Starbucks] said Monday that by 2020, it will be using straws made from biodegradable materials like paper and specially designed lids.”—The Boston Globe

We teetered on the edge of the abyss,
brought to the brink of doom by plastic straws.
Who ever thought the world would end like this?
Then Starbucks bravely rallied to our cause!

The clouds of gloom disperse, the sun shines through.
“Three cheers!” I say and raise a grateful venti.
“To Starbucks, they have saved us, yes it’s true!
If we can just hold on till 2020.”

The Milk of Human Politics

by Chris O’Carroll

We know that he’s a fan of breasts.
He’s said 10s seldom have flat chests.
But should the WHO
Promote breastfeeding? No, no, no!
Hooters are for recreation,
Not gross pastimes like lactation.
No wonder his administration
(Eyeing a big campaign donation?)
Favors any corporation
With a faux milk formulation.

Sorry About That, Chief

by Phil Huffy

I liked to ride in first-class seats
while sipping wine from crystal flutes,
arrayed in tactical attire
accessorized with belts and boots.

I sought a soundproof office booth
to keep my phone calls under wraps.
A Cone of Silence, if you will,
to smartly stifle leaks or taps.

I found myself a bargain room
with free TV and breakfast perks.
If some suspected quids pro quo,
well that’s just how the system works.

My wife’s employment prospects grew
despite the consternation wrought
by reaching out to Chik-fil-A
and other prospects crudely sought.

So now I’ll leave behind my guards,
my silver pens and SUV.
Another waits to take the reins;
by all accounts, much worse than me.

Starry Snapshot

by Julia Griffin

“It is a moment of birth that has previously proved elusive, but astronomers say they now have the first confirmed image of the formation of a planet. The startling snapshot shows a bright blob—the nascent planet—travelling through the dust and gas surrounding a young star, known as PDS70, thought to be about 370 light years from Earth.” — The Guardian

NOVA NEWS: July the 2nd,
To the lovely PDS
In Centaurus (widely reckoned
Quite the constellar address),

Healthy baby, bright and massy,
Credit to his beaming Ma;
Vigorous, if somewhat gassy,
As the best of infants are.

Noting how his growth progresses,
Gossips in the Moon Review
Intimate that Baby S is
Known to friends as PDQ;

Anyway, the comet chorus
And the telescope cartel
Back the newsflash from Centaurus:
Star and Planet Doing Well.

Monticello Updates the Exhibits

by Chris O’Carroll

Liberty-flibberty,
Hemings and Jefferson
Made an arrangement in
Black, white, and gray.

Master/slave congress proved
Philoprogenitive.
Also consensual?
Harder to say.

Swinging Right

by Daniel Galef

Oyez, Rise! Oyez, Rise!
Anthony Kennedy,
Reagan appointee who
Sometimes swung blue,

Fought for gay rights, now (un-
Jurisprudentially)
Ceding his swing vote—and
Whom even to?

All-In Football

by Jerome Betts

“England centre back John Stones
has described Colombia as ‘the
dirtiest team I’ve ever played against.’”
— The Guardian

Although against their captain’s shirt
Jules Rimet’s cup would not be nestling,
One team found balm to soothe the hurt
They’d clearly come out top in wrestling.