“Vegan mum claims she can boost her immune system to beat coronavirus by drinking sperm smoothies . . . The part-time blogger consumes the fluid daily directly from her boyfriend of two years, as part of a smoothie, or freezes it in an ice tray to use another day.” —The U.S. Sun
Let me commend your two-year friend,
A lad of grand profusion,
Who’s got the stuff, more than enough,
When he achieves conclusion.
Were I your guy, you’d have to try
For health some other way:
Put to the test, I’d be hard-pressed
To fill your ice cube tray.
Australia was open to the champ Until it wasn’t. “Rules are rules,” he’d learn. Served no exemption for a visa stamp To enter, he hit back a sharp return, Restoring deuce not on, but in, the court: A judge decreed that Djokovic must be Let in at once—despite no vax—for sport … If only that were that! With this decree, Advantage went to government, who would Negate the ruling, after quite a lot Of dallying: The champ no longer could Parade the only shots his arms had got— Emphatic aces, backhands, volley jobs, Net-clearing drop shots, overheads, and lobs!
“Venomous snake found lurking in family’s Christmas tree” —CNN
This boomslang had the decency
To slither up the Christmas tree,
Much better than, though somewhat shocking,
Hiding in a Christmas stocking.
The serpent, readily beguiled,
Was caught and taken to the wild;
Presumably, with righteous calm,
It hisses there “O Tannenbaum.”