Poems of the Week

Sandal-ous

by Phil Huffy

“A pair of worn-out Birkenstock sandals that Steve Jobs wore during the time he founded Apple
in his garage have been sold at auction for $218,750. Julien’s Auctions originally estimated
the brown suede and leather sandals would go for $60,000 to $80,000.”

CBS News

That Apple fellow’s Birkenstocks
have brought a price which simply shocks.

One wonders how such footwear, used,
could fetch that much; I’m so confused.

Has anyone, to date, adored
the Florsheims worn by Henry Ford?

Did Patton’s boots have such a day?
Or Madame Curie’s loafers, eh?

Do students of fine art recall
the splattered sneaks of Marc Chagall?

It seems old shoes are best forgot.
The Ruby Slippers? Maybe not.

Murdoch Abandons Gonzo Anarchy

by Julia Griffin

Florida Man Makes Announcement
—New York Post

I met Murdoch on the stump:
He’d demoted Donald Trump
To the status of a ghost
All across the New York Post.

Now poor Trumpty’s time has gone,
And DeFuture looks like Ron;
Doubting this is quite erroneous:
Ron’s DeSaint while Don’s DeMonious.

Lake Effect Clerihew

by Chris O’Carroll

Kari Lake
Wails, “The news is fake!
This claim that I lost the election
Calls for another insurrection!”

Yellow Brick Wave

by Nora Jay

We’ve just seen off the Hazard,
The Horrible Hazard named Oz.
We knew him as a medical haz,
And that’s what his statecraft was.
If ever a meddlesome biz there is,
PA will inveigh: “That biz is his!
So let him graze his crudités because
We’re done with this snake-oil Santa Cloz:
Diddledy-diddledy-dee!
We’ve just seen off the Hazard,
The Horrible Hazard named Oz!”

Disinscentive

by Alex Steelsmith

“As [protesters glue themselves to artworks] throughout Europe, museums consider how to respond.”
Smithsonian Magazine

“German artist Werner Härtl creates intricate paintings… using a surprising medium: cow dung.”
Ripley’s.com

Sniffity-whiffity,
feculent canvases
offer advantages,
Werner has found;

when he exhibits them,
self-gluing protesters
characteristically
don’t stick around.

Gentle Thanksgiving

by Bruce Bennett

“ …visitors on Thanksgiving Day get to tour the farm, enjoy pie
and hot cider, cuddle with the turkeys and feed them treats such as cranberries and grapes… ”
The Washington Post

“Come snuggle with a turkey.
We do at Gentle Barn.
Okay, yes, it is quirky,
but it’s rewarding. Darn,

Don’t say you won’t adore it,
but if it’s not for you,
we’ve got the answer for it.
Our cows will snuggle too.

So will our horses, donkeys,
our llamas, sheep, and goats.
You won’t see them as flunkies
as you cling to their coats.

You’ll see them as your brothers
and sisters. You’ll know why,
as you embrace those others,
we serve our turkeys pie.”

What A Cake-Up!

by Jerome Betts

“UK inflation jumps to 11.1% on back of
energy and food price rises.”
The Guardian

“Pound Cake . . . £2 each”
—Sign in Devon

Alas, our once near-solvent nation
Is in the grip of cruel inflation
Which leaves us all severely troubled
With pound cake’s price already doubled.

It’s The Ergonomy

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Rise in back pain and long-term sickness linked to home working”
The Guardian

It’s the ergonomy, ye stooped! You spent
Two years hunched over laptops on a bed,
Settee or kitchen stool, and now you’re bent
Too out of shape for office work instead.
Home working wasn’t introduced to wreck
Employment, but you had no Peloton
Elliptical to stretch your back and neck,
Relax your nerves and put a damper on
Godawful posture twisting up your spine
Or aggravating wrist and shoulder strain—
Numb digits make it hard to type this line:
Off sick today with carpal-tunnel pain …
My moral’s clear: Be glad of your commute—
You get away, and stretch yourself to boot!

At the Hops

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Hoppy IPA beers may lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s, study suggests”
The Independent

When barroom conversation starts to sputter—
A joke falls flat or someone makes a gaffe—
The married men will pull a face and mutter,
“My wife thinks I’m in here to have a laugh.”

But regulars are healthcare pioneers
Whose spouses really ought to thank, not curse, them
For selflessly consuming hoppy beers
So that their wives will never need to nurse them.

The Naughty List

by Steven Kent

“‘Whisper list’ contains 40 politicians never to accept a drink from, MP claims”
The Guardian

Girl, find a public place, a park or station,
If you and he must talk of legislation.
Don’t meet him in his office or a bar
Or any place no other people are.
He wields a lot of power, so much leverage;
Decline if he should offer you a beverage,
For God knows what’ll happen if you drink.
(“Back-bench” he’s called, but not for what you think!)

Talibanned

by Alex Steelsmith

“The Taliban are banning women from using gyms in Afghanistan…
the religious group’s latest edict cracking down on women’s rights…”

AP

Afghani women have to fight
to exercise
a basic right.
The Taliban, alas, denies
a basic right
to exercise.

Noisome

by Iris Herriot

“One billion young people risk hearing loss from loud music
Study suggests 24% of 12- to 34-year-olds globally listen at ‘unsafe level’
on devices and visit noisy venues”
The Guardian

Young People! 24%
Will wonder where your hearing went
When time and tinnitus complete
The work of that rambunctious beat.
To tell the truth, and not embroider,
I feel a certain Schadenfreude
To think of you, in future years,
With aids or trumpets in your ears,
But more reflection overthrows
Such nasty sentiments as those.
You aging, deafened hordes will strain
To hear those wailing blasts again,
And I will share your agony.
When you move in next door to me.

Aéromort

by Julia Griffin

“Man who lived in Charles de Gaulle airport for 18 years dies in airport…
Karimi Nasseri, believed to have been born in 1945, lived in the airport’s Terminal 1 from 1988 until 2006,
first in legal limbo because he lacked residency papers and later by choice. …

[He] had returned to living in the airport again in recent weeks, the airport official said.”
The Guardian

Goest thou to the Terminal,
Terminal, Terminal 1?
Hear’st thou there the final call,
When all the traveling’s done?

Dost thou article with loss,
Dustily, dusty dry?
Seest thou where the white wings cross
The whiteness of the sky?

Goest thou to the Terminal,
Terminal, Terminal 1?
Hear’st thou there the final call,
When all the traveling’s done?

Twittledum

by Chris O’Carroll

” … Mr. Musk warned employees that Twitter did not have the necessary cash to survive…”
The New York Times

#Elon/wheelon/dealon,
#Layoffs, #Broke,
#Twitter/bitter/quitter,
#Bankrupt/up in smoke?