“Lindsey Graham told Republicans they ‘ought to think about’ getting a coronavirus vaccine.
They booed him. … [Graham] responded to the crowd, telling them: ‘I didn’t tell you to get it.
You ought to think about it.'” —The Washington Post
“You’ve a choice!” Graham soothed his backers,
Whom his hint had driven crackers.
Here’s a choice I’d choose to lack, sirs:
Lindsey Graham or Anti-Vaxxers.
“Scammers are targeting T-Mobile customers through a new … text message [that] says that you may
have been affected by a T-Mobile service outage and that the company wants to compensate you for
the inconvenience.” —BestLife
We much regret, dear customer,
the outage (which did not occur).
Moreover, we apologize
for slanders, insults, jabs, and lies
that you’ve endured throughout your life—
we now confess: we caused that strife.
In fact, the least thing that’s gone wrong
for you was our fault all along.
To make it right, we’re offering
a gift card. It’s a little thing,
but please accept it as a token
of penance for the trust we’ve broken.
We know you’re smart. You sniff scams out.
But there’s no need for prudent doubt
in this case. Let us overload you
with righteous lust for what is owed you.
“The original bridge which inspired A.A. Milne’s Winnie the Pooh stories has sold at auction for more than £131,000. … It was where Milne and his son Christopher Robin created the game Poohsticks.” —BBC News
“We’ll all make a killing,” said Pooh
To Piglet and Eeyore and Roo. “We’ll set the price high, And then you and I
Will go on a lark when we’re through.”
“That sounds pretty ducky to me,”
Said Roo. Piglet cried, “Oh boy! Whee!” But Eeyore sat, hurt, Depressed, and inert.
“Go on. Leave me here. You’ll be free.”
“No, never!” the others all cried.
“We’ll want you right there by our side. We’ll keep it for now. We’ll get by somehow.
Let others get rich when we’ve died.”
And so the four friends made a pact.
They would leave things the same and not act. Though it now has been sold, Since their tale is still told,
The bridge is still their bridge, in fact.
“[D]ozens of Korean words added to Oxford English Dictionary The new words include hallyu—the Korean original for the wave of pop culture … [and] bulgogi—thin slices of beef or pork … There is room, too, for mukbang, or livestreams of people eating extraordinary amounts of food while talking to the online audience.” —The Guardian
K-beauty makes the OED (as well as global moolah):
There’s room herein for mukbang on bulgogi. Hallyula!
The last one to touch it was Nina Simone:
Its surface was mumbled by Nina alone!
You’ll have to find sugar elsewhere for your bowl;
Don’t hope for a taste of the Priestess of Soul.
No lesser saliva will ever absorb it,
This triumph of Trident (or possibly Orbit):
’Twould take nothing less than a double subpoena
To give up a gum strip once gnawed on by Nina.