“Trump alleges ‘left-wing indoctrination’ in schools,
says he will create national commission to push more
‘pro-American’ history” —The Washington Post
Teaching U.S. imperfection?
That amounts to insurrection!
History’s a celebration
Of our freedom-loving nation.
We regard with indignation
Teachers who spread information
From before Emancipation—
Mark them for elimination.
Gives correct indoctrination.
“Since late July, sailors have reported several encounters with orcas in the Straits of Gibraltar that tipped one boat sideways and spun others in circles, leaving them rudderless. There is some speculation that these attacks seemed orchestrated…” —The Hill
The water round Gibraltar
The boldest bosuns falter,
Divested of their rudders.
The sailors’ cries are raucous:
They’re feeling quite ill-fated;
Such awkwardness from orcas
Is surely orchestrated.
“Why on earth is Boris Johnson illegally revoking the EU withdrawal treaty which he himself so enthusiastically signed, claiming it gave Britain an ‘oven-ready’ Brexit?” —The Guardian: This Is Europe
So just what did they put in the oven,
Cummings, Johnson, the ERG coven?
He smiled as he signed on the line
And observed it was all jolly fine
But now claims that the outlook is murky
And the thing was the wrong kind of turkey.
“You’ll develop, you’ll develop herd—like a herd mentality. It’s going to be, it’s going to be herd-developed, and that’s going to happen.” —The President of the United States, discussing resistance to Covid-19
Herd mentalities are sweeter, far,
Than herd immunities.
I, President, your guiding star,
Crowned czar of dread disease,
Foretell the future of your herd
(Beware! Sour tongues deceive):
You’ll mind like sheep. I give my word.
Hail, hear me, and believe!
“In response to a question in parliament about the legality of changing the treaty, Mr Lewis, Northern Ireland secretary, replied: Yes, this does break international law in a specific and limited way.” —The Financial Times
Citizens, go when the light isn’t green,
Write a big cheque when you haven’t a bean,
Promise prompt payment of tax to the state,
Knowing it’s certain to be very late,
Now it’s confirmed that such things are OK
In a specific and limited way.
“The U.S. Justice Department… moved to assume responsibility for defending
President Trump in a defamation lawsuit brought by a woman who says Trump
raped her [in a department-store dressing room] in the 1990s.” —NPR
The President qua president denied
The charges lodged against the private man?
So says the DOJ, which has descried
Its duty to the man. Ingenious plan,
Some smile, while others’ tempers hit the fan.
Who knows how this new wrinkle will press out:
A fantasy, a saint, a harridan?
A dressing room, a cur, a pure Girl Scout?
Bill Barr apparently has shed all doubt
The President’s a sovereign emperor,
Thus once and always free to gad about.
A victim seeks redress for pain? Sod her!
The law was made to shield the head of state,
Says seneschal of Bergdorf Goodman–gate.
“Wear a mask while having sex, Canada’s top doctor suggests” —Reuters
I see that knowing glow ignite your eyes;
Let’s pull on rubber gloves and sanitize.
Go don your mask and don’t ask for a kiss;
To lock our lips is wickedly remiss.
The heat of skin on skin could leave us sick;
We’d better make our hot encounter quick.
And if a teasing tongue is your intention,
I must point out that all the experts mention
Such friskiness will pose a hairy risk.
Before our lustfulness ensures you whisk
Me off my feet and straight upstairs to bed,
Perhaps we’ll get the Scrabble out instead.
A Frenchman was about to eat his food. He loathed to share his dinner with a fly, And since one pesky fly had dared intrude, Resolved at once this fly would have to die! Dispensing electricity in sparks That fizzled from a swatter he now held, Our Frenchman chased the fly, but left no marks, Since flies are so adroitly self-propelled … What happened next brought kudos to the fly: An undetected gas leak filled the room To spark a blast that blew the roof sky-high. For miles around the neighbors heard it boom … Luck blessed the man. Just minor burns had he. You know the rest: The fly escaped scot-free!