Bruce McGuffin


Our Friend The Cheetah

There’s no cat that’s fleetah than our friend the cheetah.
It’s also a sweetheart, no creature is sweetah.
It’s helpful, trustworthy, and shares all its cat toys.
That noise that annoys you? It never makes that noise.
And yet there’s one problem that leaves my brain knotted;
Whenever there’s trouble, the cheetah’s been spotted.

The Feeder

The cold and hungry chickadee
must sit upon a branch and see
how squirrels in marauding herds
devour the seed put out for birds.

I’ve greased the posts, hung feeders higher,
suspending them from long thin wire.
I’ve sprayed the seeds with pepper spray,
and nothing keeps those pests away.

But now I’ve figured out a plan
to end theft by the squirrel clan.
I won’t be swayed by your demurrals;
I’ll shoo the birds and feed the squirrels.

Bruce McGuffin has been writing light poetry for years, despite the long-ago urgings of his high school English teacher to give it up. His poetry has appeared in Light, Lighten Up Online, Parody, and The Asses of Parnassus. By day a radio engineer, he has been banned from the Bonsai Mailing List ever since the “giant bonsai” incident.