Poems of the Week

A Gourmet Protest

by Philip Kitcher

“Sainsbury’s shoppers criticise ‘vile’ mince vac-packs aimed at reducing plastic
The Guardian

We would like to use less plastic—but we must preserve the taste,
and the well-known excellence of British meals.
We are thoroughly in favour of eliminating waste,
but we draw the line at mince when it congeals.

We receive it en gelée, compressed—a thick disgusting squash;
Any vite sauté we cook ends up in clumps
It makes a bloody travesty of nouvelle British nosh,
if the plat du jour is full of leaden lumps.