by Steven Urquhart Bell
“An NHS hospital has triggered outrage after offering medical teams chocolate prizes
for rapidly discharging patients.”
I got discharged when I was barely able
To hobble round the ward upon a stick.
I felt like I was being sent home early
Because they thought I wasn’t all that sick;
Or taking up a bed I didn’t warrant,
A shirker, a malingerer, a fake,
Who wants another sick note from the doctor
To laze around for longer on the take;
Or just a lonely soul who wants attention,
Or someone who’s exaggeration-prone;
Thank goodness it was none of these, but only
To win the staff a giant Toblerone.