by Stephen Gold

“Man had sex with his wife on bollard in protest after it had been erected by neighbour
to stop him parking his campervan in her space”
—Daily Mail

It began with al fresco caressing,
And progressed to unseemly undressing.
But poor Lee failed to see
There was CCTV,
And the outcome was truly depressing.

For a bollard is not an erection
Well adapted to acts of affection.
It takes rare agility
To use this facility,
And it’s fraught with the risk of detection.