by Steven Urquhart Bell
“Secrets of longevity from the royal household”
—Scotland on Sunday
Don’t think I’ll live as long as good Queen Liz.
I’m unemployed and poor; she’s rich as hell.
Her life has sparkle; mine has lost its fizz.
In one way, though, our circumstances gel:
She draws her money from the Civil List,
And I’m a scrounger off the State as well.