Poems of the Week

Bloody Ty-rant

by Alex Steelsmith

Political analyst Valery Solovei said one of Putin’s health issues was “of a psycho-neurological nature…
[T]he Russian news outlet Proekt also claimed Putin had been using an alternative therapy that involves
bathing in blood extract from severed deer antlers.”

Vlad the Barbarian
rants as he stews in his
sanguinous mix,

“Never mind modern-day
nothing is wrong that a
bloodbath can’t fix!”