by Philip Kitcher

“King Charles III bestows royal title on rare golden goat breed.”
—The Associated Press

The Guernsey girls are sewing night and day to make the coat
To carry the escutcheon of their Royal Golden Goat.
A bovine baroness has been rehearsing how to bow:
The latest peer in Cumbria—a Whitbred Shorthorn cow.
Supporting aristocracy, the populace of Wales
Are seeking gooey mantles to adorn Llyn Tegid’s snails.
And Scottish hearts beat faster now the Manxshearwater flea
Has made the recent Honours List: it’s earned the CBE.
But pride in our nobility won’t reach its full extent
Till owls are picked as members of the British Parliament.