by Nora Jay
(who is English)

“US woman sparks transatlantic tea war with brutal online brew
Michelle from North Carolina shared her recipe for ‘British tea’. …
[which] involved cold water first. The British internet lost its marbles.”
—The Guardian

A cup of water, microwaved,
With teabag on the side,
Cannot by any means be saved,
So shunt the swill aside,

Then boil your water; warm your pot;
Unwrap your fancy; steep it;
Fill cup; splash milk. If tea is not
So fashioned, you may keep it.

(Now coffee’s of a different ilk,
Requiring little mettle:
Find instant granules, douse with milk,
And stew in any kettle.)