Poems of the Week

Cash For Honours

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Police will not investigate cash-for-peerages allegations against Tories”

Cough up ten grand, back in Lloyd George’s day,
And you’d be “Sir”—’twas fifty grand for “Lord.”
Shell thirty grand out, and your “Sir” would stay
Hereditary for your son’s reward …
Fast-forward to the present day: new laws
On honours now forbid their sale, and yet
Rich donors to the Tory party cause
Have confidence three million pounds will net
One peerage. Though it sounds a bit like graft,
No cop can prove it’s not a legal kind
Of practice in the politician’s craft,
UK-style … So historians will find
Reform has failed to change how “Lord” is sold—
Save now the price has risen sixtyfold!