Poems of the Week

King Kang

by Ruth S. Baker

“China: Man banned from all-you-can-eat BBQ for eating too much
Mr Kang said the restaurant is ‘discriminatory’ against people who can eat a lot.
‘I can eat a lot—is that a fault?’ he said, adding that he didn’t waste any of the food.
But the restaurant owner told the same reporter that Mr Kang was putting him out of pocket. …
‘Even when he drinks soy milk, he can drink 20 or 30 bottles. When he eats the pork trotters,
he consumes the whole tray of them. And for prawns, usually people use tongs to pick them up,
he uses a tray to take them all.'”
BBC News

Pork trotters on the menu? Yes!
I’ll have—three kilograms, I guess.
Prawns? Excellent! Let’s take a tray
And load it up. Saves time that way:
Why fuss with little tongs when you
Have half a tank to bulldoze through?
Ooh, soy milk bottles!—I’ll have twenty.
I do appreciate this plenty,
So why on earth have I been banned?
I do not waste, nor understand:
Why should this miser whine and cringe
To see me on my merry binge?
I eat a lot—is that a fault?
Discrimination! Pass the salt.