by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“Pubs to stay open until early hours in push for UK growth”
—The Guardian

Exchequer mandarins, in need of cash,
Collude with pubs to raise it from more sales
Of alcohol at nighttime, when a bash
Need never more break up too soon in Wales
Or England. Longer opening hours mean both
More opportunity to be pie-eyed
In public and more “economic growth”—
Consumption with taxation on the side.
Great Britain’s not for temperance if booze
Revives its fortunes: Rachel Reeves’s vows
Of no new taxes mean tax revenues
Will have to come instead from old cash cows:
The more you drink, the more taxation will
Have drained your wallet, paying Reeves’s bill!