by Marshall Begel
“An Oregon minor league baseball team introduced new uniforms on Thursday that pay homage
to a famous Oregon event: The exploding of a giant, dead sperm whale.”
Come cheer for our side as we rise like the tide.
We’re ready to bring on the fight.
Because we’re devoted to things dead and bloated,
Our playing will be dynamite!
Our rivals fall soon to our scoring harpoon.
We’ll triumph—no ifs, ands or buts!
We won’t be denied. We’re exploding with pride,
And we’ll show them that we have the guts!