by Marshall Begel

“Hate your signature? … [People are hiring] a calligrapher for a fresh take
on writing one’s own name in cursive.”
—The Frederick News-Post

Your handshake is awkwardly sweaty and weak.
Your facial expression, dejected and meek.

When speaking with someone, you look at your shoes.
Your breath has an odor I cannot excuse.

Your knees buckle in. There’s a slope in your shoulder.
You dress like a person who’s 30 years older.

Although you’re a slovenly, insecure wreck,
You’ll feel like a man when you’re writing my check!