by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Rome calls in cleaners armed with shovels to fight Colosseum’s rat infestation”
—The Telegraph

But don’t let on they’re cleaners. Tell the public
They’re members of a reenactment group,
And tool them up with swords and nets and tridents,
And play them martial music on a loop.

Then spread the word: “Not since the days of Empire
Has Rome played host to such a thrilling bout—
Voracious wild beasts and gladiators!”
You’ll rake it in—unless you’re ratted out.