by Dan Campion

“Dyson Zone Noise-Canceling Headphones Feature a Built-in Air Purifier”
—IGN

Tech Progress has achieved new highs:
We’ll hear the Grateful Dead
While gadget magic purifies
The air inside our head!

by Paul Lander

Ivermectin failed
Study: “No help with Covid.”
The neighsayers were right.

by Steven Kent

“Oxford House with Shark Sculpture on Roof Made Heritage Site Despite Owner’s Objection…
[The owner’s father] installed the shark without the approval of local officials
because he didn’t think they should have the right to decide what art people see,
and the council spent years trying to remove the sculpture.”
—The Guardian

Please help me understand: My father
Makes a piece of art you hate.
For years you go to so much bother
Laboring to legislate
Removal of its public viewing;
All your efforts fail, and now
I learn that you have turned to doing
Just the opposite, and how!
Today you say his work is wanted
In this quaint historic town.
You bloody hypocrites—undaunted,
I should tear the damn thing down!

by Alex Steelsmith

“Sackler name will be removed from British Museum galleries…
[T]he museum and foundation make no reference to the opioid crisis (or)
the Sacklers’ role in it… Instead the decision is positioned as part of
the museum’s plans to overhaul its facilities.”
—The Art Newspaper

Higgledy-wiggledy,
gallery spokespeople
tend to gloss over the
truth, but in fact

opioid-profiting
patrons are serious
trouble, and that’s why the
Sacklers were sacked.

by Ruth S. Baker

“A Nebraska state lawmaker apologized on Monday after he publicly cited
a… debunked rumor alleging that schools are placing litter boxes
in school bathrooms to accommodate children who self-identify as cats.”
—AP News

The trans-est cat Nebraska has
I’ll back on one condition:
Not self-identifying as
A yowling politician.

by Bruce Bennett

“With April Fool’s Day on Friday, a fake letter
from the city of Auburn is circulating on social media,
telling residents a new law will require pets to wear pants
so as not to expose their genitals.”
—The Citizen

What? Spike go out without his pants,
eliciting a prurient glance?
We will not have it! Let us cover
those parts that designate the lover.

And Josie too. She must be spared
the shame of having privates bared.
Think of our children. Should they see
the wherewithal by which dogs pee?

No, never! Let us now address
this situation we confess
has always made us somewhat queasy.
Although solutions are not easy,

We’ve hit upon one now at last.
Embarrassment is of the past.
Excuses we need no more make—

What’s that? Oh no! The law’s a fake?

by Alex Steelsmith

“The fate of humanity suddenly seems to be in the unsteady hands of an isolated, frustrated,
and potentially unhinged Vladimir Putin… ‘The fact that there’s a very short path from, say, Putin
feeling humiliated to the end of life as we know it,’ the sociologist Kieran Healy wrote, ‘is literally insane.’”
—The Atlantic

Fearfully, tearfully,
life in the biosphere
hangs in the balance of
Vladimir’s wrath.

Sociologically,
life may depend on a
very short path—and a
short psychopath.

by Dan Campion

“As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination.
When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.”
—Oscar Wilde

“Putin’s puffy coat and Zelenskyy’s T-shirts show the power of fashion in war”
—NPR

Vlad’s fourteen-thousand-dollar coat
Says Power owns the catbird seat.
Zelenskyy’s T-shirts cast a vote
For making all wars obsolete.
One mode looks cool, the other, vile.
Clear fashion choice: Zelenskyy’s style.

by Felicia Nimue Ackerman

“The past few years we’ve seen a lot of conservative criticism about the ‘snowflakes’
at our colleges and universities.  . . . Not only do conservative lawmakers whine about
acknowledging the realities of our political and social history; they’re passing laws
against even discussing them. . . . Who are the real snowflakes?”
—From a letter to The Boston Globe

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Who’s the frailest of them all?
Who demands complete protection?
Who can’t bear the least objection
To their own unswerving view?
Both sides now? Alas, it’s true!

by Julia Griffin

“Calls have erupted for ethical conflict-of-interest rules on America’s top court after it was revealed
that Ginni Thomas, wife of the supreme court justice Clarence Thomas, pressed Donald Trump’s White House
chief of staff to overturn the results of the 2020 presidential election.”
—The Guardian

Carry me back to old Virginni:
That’s where the angry right-wing commentators snort;
That’s where the words warble sweet in the Meadows;
That’s where we’ll find Donald’s own Supremest Court.

Carry me back to old Virginni:
There let me push expectations down and down;
Long by the old Dismal Swamp have I wandered;
Time to collapse now and wallow till I drown.

by Clyde Always

“Wyoming is now encouraging drivers to report roadkill casualties for harvesting.”
—Reason

When chefs in Wyoming are carefully plating
autochthonous game most-delectable,
suppose they might fear for their Michelin rating
if essence of Goodyear’s detectable?

by Paul Lander

Brooks thrown under bus.
For the bus driver’s sake, I
Hope Trump paid in full.

by Chris O’Carroll

“Netflix’s Marilyn Monroe Movie Gets Rare NC-17 Rating for Sexual Content”
—The Hollywood Reporter

The rating NC-17
Is lipstick on an X.
This skin-flick biopic knows green
Accrues to bombshell sex.

Her bare breasts launched a magazine
That launched a thousand wanks,
So now she’s NC-17,
A rating Netflix banks.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“[S]ex and relationships education has changed in Scottish primary schools”
—The Scotsman

Sex education when I was at school
Was utterly useless to kids on the pull.
Lots about gametes and fertilization;
Nothing on hormones and sexual frustration.

We’d fidget through endless biology lessons,
Impatient for answers to pricklier questions:
A sperm and an ovum engender a brat—
But how do you get to the bit before that?

by Bruce Bennett

WTF! My NFT
now is worthless. Woe is me!
Blockchain blocked this fool I am.
Shoulda stuck with Uncle Sam!