“Though cute, the ‘mob’ of wallabies (as they are collectively known) poses a threat to the Isle of Man’s ecology… [T]he Isle of Man’s mob is almost certainly the biggest in Britain, [but] it is not the only one.” —The Economist
Feel mobbed by small marsupials? You have a good excuse. From Devonshire to Nottingham the wallabies are loose.
A thousand in the Isle of Man are visible from drones. (A few escaped from wildlife parks, and multiplied like clones).
They nibble vegetation and perhaps a fence or so, but look into their wistful eyes and gently let them go.
O do not cull the wallabies! Let them keep passing through. Perhaps in love and politics they feel the same as you. The world has room enough for all, if all mobs want it to.
“Topless butler firm seeks to strip rivals of ‘buff’ branding” —The Times
Buff butlers point fingers of blame, In a feud over what’s in a name. Who’ll prevail in this fight? I suspect that it might Be the one with more skin in the game.
“Sultry Penthouse Pet accused of wooing love-starved older men online—then robbing them blind” —New York Post
Geezers on Tinder, don’t gripe if a model declares you’re her type as you shamelessly tout all your wealth, then find out that the fox was just swiping to swipe.
“Pubs to stay open until early hours in push for UK growth” —The Guardian
Exchequer mandarins, in need of cash, Collude with pubs to raise it from more sales Of alcohol at nighttime, when a bash Need never more break up too soon in Wales Or England. Longer opening hours mean both More opportunity to be pie-eyed In public and more “economic growth”— Consumption with taxation on the side. Great Britain’s not for temperance if booze Revives its fortunes: Rachel Reeves’s vows Of no new taxes mean tax revenues Will have to come instead from old cash cows: The more you drink, the more taxation will Have drained your wallet, paying Reeves’s bill!
“More than 145 people in a wide range of occupations have been fired or disciplined after they made statements about the assassination of Charlie Kirk.” —The New York Times
They lost their jobs when set upon by mourning MAGA minions, Since nothing says “free speech” like getting sacked for one’s opinions.
“Tilly Norwood: how scared should we be of the viral AI ‘actor’? A bunch of code is being pushed as the next Scarlett Johansson, a creation that is already causing pushback from real human actors” —The Guardian
How scared should we be of this Tilly? Myself, I’m enchanted by her: Her simper is—possibly—silly, Her teeth on occasion may blur, But look how she’s prettily sitting, Sweet face amid billowy hair: No wonder her rivals are spitting, And pushing to make her a scare! They call her a composite starlet, Or more of a smiling black hole, A knock-off of Margot and Scarlett, With code and electrics for soul; It’s scary, they cry, that some fusion Should land on our turf and lay claim, As if we were just an illusion Who look and behave all the same! Her agents aren’t troubled. At present, They say, she’s not ready to speak: No doubt she won’t long be quiescent, But surely they’ll grant her a week For wordlessly clasping her kneecaps: I’m sure that, promoted or banned, She’ll give what we ask for (with recaps); Already she cries on demand.
“[D]ental surgeon Dr. John Sottosanti presents striking evidence that the lower teeth of the man on the Shroud of Turinmay, in fact, be visible… Sottosanti argues [this] could only appear if the image were seared onto the cloth by a burst of radiant energy at the moment of Christ’s Resurrection.” —Zenit
Readily, steadily, skeptics and scientists scoff at the argument, yet underneath
all of their claims that it’s unverifiable have to acknowledge it might have some teeth.
“‘No more beardos’: Hegseth gives military branches 60 days to end shaving waivers for almost all US troops” —Stars and Stripes
There is now a new regime, and as harsh as it may seem, It’s your duty to be sharper than a knife (Though we’re hoping you won’t notice That it’s all to serve a POTUS Who has never served a minute in his life).
“Trump hangs autopen photo instead of Biden portrait in new presidential gallery” —The Guardian
In Biden’s place, he hangs an autopen, With all his customary grace and sense. No honor, then, for Sleepy Joe; but then, Consider how Trump would have hanged Mike Pence.
