“With suction cups and lots of luck, scientists measure blue whale’s heart rate” —Reuters
The heart rate of Leviathan
Is yogic: half of yours or mine;
Another diagnostic sign
Of what sad shape our brains are in.
For if we took things with the flow,
Like Stoics and the great blue whale,
Our hearts would strengthen, learn to slow,
And bring our troubles down in scale.
Said Mitch McConnell, “Guess I’m kinda lucky,
The only living turtle in Kentucky.
I coulda been a can of soup at Costco;
Instead, I’m kept alive to service Moscow.”
Dear Taliban,
Say something nice to him, pretend you can
pull off some deal, unveil some half-assed plan.
The fact that he’s aggrieved as Caliban
is something you’ve in common. He’s no fan
of what you blew to pieces in Bamyan.
Just make it look as if you and the man
both give the vaguest semblance of a damn
about Afghanistan.
“There was one surprising point of fascination among the viewing public: the bow tie worn by George P. Kent, the State Department official in charge of Ukraine.” —The New York Times
Bill Taylor is Jim Jordan’s “star,”
But George Kent wears the tie
And festive matching pocket square
That hold the nation’s eye.
“What is ‘nunchi’, the Korean secret to happiness? In a new book, Euny Hong investigates the social ‘art of understanding’ … Koreans don’t say someone has ‘good’ nunchi, but ‘quick’ nunchi—the ability to rapidly process changing social information.” —The Guardian
What is that prized Korean “nunchi”?
It’s something like an English hunchi:
When things are coming to the crunchi,
Quick nunchi lets you pack a punchi.
“Rush $25 or more to defend President Trump and House Conservatives and we’ll send you 3 rolls of our official limited-edition Trump Christmas Wrapping Paper…” —Republican National Congressional Committee
Trump Christmas Paper is perfect
For wrapping up taxes to hide them,
Or packaging beautiful promises
In boxes with nothing inside them.
“A boulder has become a bit of a rock star in Nebraska after an untold number of vehicles crashed on top of it recently, sparking an unexpected fan base. The rock … has become Omaha’s hottest new tourist attraction thanks to a vibrant Facebook group, Reddit community, and a 5-star Google Maps rating that features photos of cars, trucks, and SUVs wedged on its perch.” —CNN
Preserve respectful distance!
You’re fast (too fast) approaching
The Rock, whose hard consistence
Resists your crass encroaching.
The Rock predates Nebraska:
It’s not some mushroom newby;
It’s not a multi-tasker,
Nor, motorist, should you be.
“Sea silk: the world’s most exclusive textile is being auctioned this week: The ultra-rare material made from fibers—byssus—harvested from giant mollusks was once the height of fashion, for items such as the hat going under the hammer in New York” —The Guardian
From out the ocean’s cool abyss
Ascends the silky byssus
To make a hat which cannot miss:
A marvel for the missus.
No worm’s secretions spark such pride;
No oyster’s are more prayed for;
Those mollusks must be mollified
By what their tresses trade for.
He helped elect a man to build a wall;
Now Roger Stone will be hemmed in by four.
So here’s to all the jailbirds on Trump’s team—
Let’s hope that soon there will be several more!