“Andrew Scott: sex scenes less ‘embarrassing’ for audience if one actor plays both characters” —The Guardian
I cringe and furiously doodle
Whenever two on stage canoodle;
A pair of actors making out
Has all my blush-genes breaking out.
When was a more embarrassed wreck seen
Than I, before a four-hand sex scene?
Imagine, then, how I’m delighted
To find this situation righted!
Great Scott! by his exclusive antics,
Has saved the boards for shy romantics;
For none (save Governor De Santis)
Are shamed by solo in flagrantes.
“Brits investing in stocks and shares fell by more than five percent last year, study finds” —Daily Express
Investing for the first time is exciting.
You keep on checking markets on your cell.
Be careful not to do it while you’re walking,
’Cos if they aren’t doing very well,
You’ll likely stare in anguish at the figures,
And likely not be watching where you stroll,
And likely make your troubles even deeper
By breaking something falling down a hole.
“Trump Campaigns in Nevada, Where He Has Virtually No Rival” —The New York Times
It’s bound to be raucous:
Nevada’s one caucus
Won’t let voters pick Nikki Haley,
Yet Don still gets grumpy
And totally Trumpy,
Demeaning Ms. H on the daily.
His GOP rival
Now pins, for survival,
High hopes on her home state (Palmetto).
But win or lose badly,
By June she’ll be sadly
Consigned to the Never-Trump ghetto.
“‘This should not be ridiculed’: The link between hypochondria and early death” —The Guardian
Today I’m feeling all reflective
Based upon my new perspective.
Friends and fam I now see mourning
Disregarded every warning.
Tears and laughter as they grieve me—
Wish they’d chosen to believe me.
Sympathies expressed? They’re on it.
(Told them I was sick, doggone it!)
“’We won world wars out of forts,” [ex-President Trump] said at an event in Rochester, New Hampshire. “Fort Benning, Fort This, Fort That, many forts. They changed the name, we won wars out of these forts, they changed the name, they changed the name of the forts. A lot of people aren’t too happy about that.’” —HuffPost
We won our World Wars out of forts, many forts:
Fort Michie, Fort Ritchie, and forts of all sorts;
Forts Benning and Snelling, where heroes were at;
But best of them all were Fort This and Fort That.
Our enemies, lots of bad enemies, say
It scared them to hear of Fort Jay and Fort Ray;
Fort Petrie would petrify enemies’ ears;
But those two Fort Pronouns brought Hitler to tears.
And now we’re renaming them, changing the name.
Whatever they’re called, it will not be the same,
And folks aren’t too happy, they’re going to miss
The world-warring sounds of Fort That and Fort This.
“Potty-mouthed parrots rehoused to clean up their language” —The Times
This is Tyson, an African Grey,
And perpetual cause of dismay.
It is hard not to scowl
At this foulest of fowl
Squawking smut every hour of the day.
So we’ve put him with birds better bred,
In the hope they’ll get into his head.
Though today they were shocked,
When he told them, “Get flocked!”
(And that wasn’t the worst thing he said.)
We regret he’s just one of a group
That loves swooping around talking poop.
The same fate now awaits
These disorderly mates—
Though we’re thinking about parrot soup!
“There was very little free speech at Harvard—the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression ranked it last of all colleges last year. …” —The Wall Street Journal
“A Florida school district is pulling nearly 2,000 books from its shelves— including some dictionaries and encyclopedias” —Axios
Right and left can’t seem to see
There’s a way that they agree:
From the classroom to the dorm,
All opinion must conform.
“’We wouldn’t have civilizations if we didn’t create groups. We are designed to form groups,
and the only way to define a group is there has to be someone who’s not in it,’…” —The Washington Post
“It’s Us or Them, you idiot! Of course
we hate that Other, since he is the source
of Every Evil. As, no doubt, are you,
who tries to tell us this. We hate you too!”
“Amateur archaeologist discovers bizarre Roman object that has baffled for centuries” —Independent
“12 sides, 100 theories: what was the Roman dodecahedron really for?” —The Times
Our forebears, who had impish Roman minds, Left old dodecahedra in the ground. Dig experts, who seek purpose in such finds, Doubt any known hypothesis is sound: Old candleholders? No. Old Rome used oil. Dice made for gambling? No. They wouldn’t roll. Et cetera … These objects, rife in soil, Could earn no mention in a Roman scroll. An oversight of scholars? Maybe. Or, Had Romans pranked posterity instead, Endowing it with objects solely for Discreetly messing with an expert’s head, Repaying nosy future diggers well Ahead of time? There’s just no way to tell!
