by Orel Protopopescu

“Mr. Hunter, a Republican congressman known for his hard-line views
and early support for President Trump, pleaded guilty on Tuesday…
to conspiracy to steal campaign funds.”
—The New York Times

Duncan Hunter pleaded guilty,
though he said it was his wife
who took care of their finances,
since he has a busy life.

Paying airfare for their rabbit?
Just a laughable mistake.
His clandestine tryst in Tahoe
signed by wifey? Piece of cake!

Nothing makes this tale surprising,
though the bunny adds excitement.
Just another Trump supporter
re-elected, post-indictment.

by Chris O’Carroll

They met cute by swapping insults—
“Dotard,” “Little Rocket Man.”
Then a propaganda game of
Bromance photo ops began.

Dotard envied Little Rocket
Man his unchecked tyrant clout.
“Phony Constitution,” Dotard
Pouted, “makes me do without.”

Dotard cooed, “I now see Little
Rocket Man through lover’s eyes.
Our relationship’s so great it
Should win me a Nobel Prize.”

Little Rocket Man and Dotard
Broke up. Now they’re angry exes
Threatening to demonstrate how
Hot and nasty break-up sex is.

by Julia Griffin

“Lovestruck pig pursues TV reporter live on air”
—CNN

He’s nothing to make a big deal about.
There’s lots of good boars in the shed!
He grunts even though there’s no meal about.
His bristles are all on his head.

He walks on two hooves—there’s no tellin’ him.
His snout is too snub for the pail.
My friends have no clue what I smell in him:
Who knows what he’s done with his tail?

He eats with his feet. He’s too tall for me.
His ears are mere slits. He likes ham;
O Lazos, you’re no good at all for me—
Poor, pitiful pig that I am!

by Orel Protopopescu

“Trump throws Rudy under the bus with new Ukraine comments.”
—MSNBC

Baloney with Russian dressing
for Trump. And Pence? Mayo on white.
Perry eats red meat fried in oil.
Jaravanka? Anything light.

Rape leaf salad for Kavanaugh,
preceded by at least four beers.
Miller ingests blood sausage, raw,
and a bucket of human tears.

Pompeo and Mulvaney share
a pu-pu platter, party tea.
Rudy takes toast with caviar,
fantastic scoops from the Black Sea.

“I’m insured,” Giuliani warns
when Trump invades his plate. “I’m host,”
Trump counters, swallowing eggs,
“with full immunity. Eat toast.”

by Dan Campion

“With suction cups and lots of luck, scientists measure blue whale’s heart rate”
—Reuters

The heart rate of Leviathan
Is yogic: half of yours or mine;
Another diagnostic sign
Of what sad shape our brains are in.
For if we took things with the flow,
Like Stoics and the great blue whale,
Our hearts would strengthen, learn to slow,
And bring our troubles down in scale.

by Brian Allgar

Said Mitch McConnell, “Guess I’m kinda lucky,
The only living turtle in Kentucky.
I coulda been a can of soup at Costco;
Instead, I’m kept alive to service Moscow.”

by Mark Granier

Dear Taliban,
Say something nice to him, pretend you can
pull off some deal, unveil some half-assed plan.
The fact that he’s aggrieved as Caliban
is something you’ve in common. He’s no fan
of what you blew to pieces in Bamyan.
Just make it look as if you and the man
both give the vaguest semblance of a damn
about Afghanistan.

by David Hedges

To people keen on buying cheap,
A sucker is a lollipop.
Like lemmings led to Lover’s Leap,
They hop from shop to shop, to shop.

by James Hamby

We thought we’d never see it,
But now we’ve found the one:
The only firearm they don’t like—
A Trump-held smoking gun!

by Jerome Betts

The leaders of the Conservative and
Labour parties “debated” on television.

Yes, Boris versus Jeremy
At last, put on by ITV!

Their much-hyped meeting, face to face,
Avoided meltdown or disgrace
While showing off their verbal mettle—
But was it merely pot and kettle?

Were there not also in the lists
Invisible ventriloquists
So both mouthed lines that puppeteers
Provided for the public’s ears?

A proxy war, a clever trick—
Yes, Seamus versus Dominic!

by Jan Schreiber

“Louisiana Democrat, Gov. John Bel Edwards
Keeps Seat Despite [. . .]’s Opposition”
– NPR

When his man’s chances seemed to slump,
the Great Pretender thought he’d pump
some air into the sorry chump
and see his polling numbers jump.

Alas, they landed with a thump.
The Governor, though, got a bump,
enough to make his vote-count plump
and sink his rival’s hapless rump.

by Chris O’Carroll

He’s a lieutenant colonel, I hear.
Many have said he’s not patriotic.
I hate a hero in uniform
Who rats me out when I go despotic.

by Dan Campion

“There was one surprising point of fascination among the viewing public: the bow tie worn by George P. Kent, the State Department official in charge of Ukraine.”
—The New York Times

Bill Taylor is Jim Jordan’s “star,”
But George Kent wears the tie
And festive matching pocket square
That hold the nation’s eye.

by David Hedges

Sean Spicer was again all feet
As Dancing with the Stars wore on.
Not unexpectedly, a tweet
Was issued midway by The Don

To boost Sean’s chances in the game.
Apparently the faithful yawned
And Sean was booted off in shame.
Poor Donnie shook his magic wand,

His phone, and wondered how the spell
Was broken: Was the show a sham?
Did Democrats raise holy hell?
Was he betrayed by Lindsey Graham?

by Ruth S. Baker

“What is ‘nunchi’, the Korean secret to happiness?
In a new book, Euny Hong investigates the social ‘art of understanding’ … Koreans don’t say someone has ‘good’ nunchi, but ‘quick’ nunchi—the ability to rapidly process changing social information.”
—The Guardian

What is that prized Korean “nunchi”?
It’s something like an English hunchi:
When things are coming to the crunchi,
Quick nunchi lets you pack a punchi.