“CDC, under fire, lays out plan to become more nimble and accountable. ‘In our big moment, our performance did not reliably meet expectations,’ [Director Rochelle] Walensky acknowledges.” —The Washington Post
Madam Director vows
Closing the stable door
Shame that the horse is now
Dog food and glue.
“Seven people experiencing homelessness were given HK$101.10 in compensation from the government for tossing away their bedding, clothing and other personal belongings during a cleaning and anti-crime operation at Tung Chau Street Park in December 2019.” —Hong Kong Free Press
We’re sorry we snatched your belongings
and deprived you of blankets and tents.
We’re sorry we took precious keepsakes.
“Balenciaga is selling an $1800 trash bag that ‘looks exactly like a Hefty bag you’d use in your kitchen'” —Business Insider
Balenciaga sells a bag
That costs almost two K
For ladies of the upper crust
To carry and display.
Designer duds inform the world
Of monetary health.
What better way to loudly say,
“I have disposable wealth.”
“Love is telling your partner what an awful day you’ve had: Study finds moaning to your significant other can bring you both closer” —Daily Mail
If I’d a mate who, while we both undressed,
Would listen to me whining like a cur,
I might not feel so buttoned-up and stressed.
But then I’d have to do the same for her—
And that would leave me even more depressed.
I’m far too mean to share another’s woe.
I need a mate with patience by the ton
Who never moans because she’s never low.
So basically I’m looking for a nun
Who’s permanently blissed from smoking blow.
“Hail Mary! Statue’s trip down the Wye raises chicken pollution issue” —The Guardian
Along the River Wye, we wonder why We see a strange contraption move downstream: A statue on canoes is paddled by Riparian enthusiasts, who seem Encouraged by attention they have won Nearby. But why? The Belmont Abbey choir Erupts in plainsong when those gents are done, Suggesting that their goal is to acquire Some faithful … Yet, it’s not to fill the pews: Our Lady of the Waters and the Wye Floats down a Wye chock-full of chicken poos, Which calls for ruffling feathers perched on high. You can’t raise Wye awareness till you plot Events that look quite bonkers but … are not?
“Japanese nurseries’ take-home dirty nappy rule perplexes parents … The chief ‘offender’ was Shiga prefecture in western Japan, where 89% of nursery facilities asked parents to take their child’s nappies home…” —The Guardian
The nurseries of west Japan are happy
To host a child, but not to scrap a nappy.
Their mothers thus discover, all too soon:
Who lays the diaper does not call the tune.
Time for fanfare, time for flash,
Time to honor Ogden Nash.
Lively, innovative, clever—
Humdrum absolutely never.
Nash is great when you’re dejected,
Since he’s apt to lift your spirits with a bouncy ending that is hardly what you expected.