“One billion young people risk hearing loss from loud music Study suggests 24% of 12- to 34-year-olds globally listen at ‘unsafe level’ on devices and visit noisy venues” —The Guardian
Young People! 24%
Will wonder where your hearing went
When time and tinnitus complete
The work of that rambunctious beat.
To tell the truth, and not embroider,
I feel a certain Schadenfreude
To think of you, in future years,
With aids or trumpets in your ears,
But more reflection overthrows
Such nasty sentiments as those.
You aging, deafened hordes will strain
To hear those wailing blasts again,
And I will share your agony.
When you move in next door to me.
“Man who lived in Charles de Gaulle airport for 18 years dies in airport… Karimi Nasseri, believed to have been born in 1945, lived in the airport’s Terminal 1 from 1988 until 2006,
first in legal limbo because he lacked residency papers and later by choice. … [He] had returned to living in the airport again in recent weeks, the airport official said.” —The Guardian
Goest thou to the Terminal,
Terminal, Terminal 1?
Hear’st thou there the final call,
When all the traveling’s done?
Dost thou article with loss,
Dustily, dusty dry?
Seest thou where the white wings cross
The whiteness of the sky?
Goest thou to the Terminal,
Terminal, Terminal 1?
Hear’st thou there the final call,
When all the traveling’s done?
“[J]ailed monarch ate only the best, papers reveal. Newly discovered official accounts show that, while a prisoner of Elizabeth I, her cousin [Mary, Queen of Scots] lived a life of luxury” —The Guardian
Mary had a lot of lamb:
She feasted like a toff
And lived contenter than a clam
Until her head came off.
“Oldest known sentence written in first alphabet discovered—on a head-lice comb… [It] reads: ‘May this tusk root out the lice of the hair and the beard.’” —The Guardian
Its readers had lice;
we imagine them frowsy.
The form would suffice,
but the content was lousy.
“‘A huge opportunity’: California Republicans eye school board elections” —The Guardian
We’ll tell the children what to think, what not to think, and so on,
Rewriting all the history books with our own facts to go on.
No Commie talk of climate change, you leftie doom-and-gloomers.
God bless our little patriots! How dare you call us groomers?
“Tyson CFO arrested after allegedly falling asleep in wrong home” —CBS News
Instead of coming home to roost,
This chicken found another nest.
It had gone out and gotten juiced,
Then lost when coming home to roost.
How could a chicken so unloosed
Be one of Tyson’s very best?
Will others coming home to roost
Force it to find another nest?
“Kentucky officials on Friday warned motorists to avoid a portion of U.S. Highway 62 where chicken offal spilled along the roadway. … ‘To avoid the smell and getting chicken waste on your vehicle, you should avoid this area’…” —AP
Quickeny sickeny,
sun on the thoroughfare
foments the rise of the
nasal offense;
thermally catalyzed
microorganically,
waste decomposes, which
only makes scents.
“Texas homeowner says ‘hooker’ ghosts have taken over rental property: ‘They’re trying to stir up business’ Linda Hill said there are four different types of ghosts in the home … ‘We’ve got kids, and we’ve got old people, old guys, and we’ve got hookers,’ she told host Jesse Watters.” —Fox News
What sort of spook do you prefer?
We’ve some for him and some for her:
We’ve kids (diversified in size),
Old people (different from old guys)
And best of all, for early bookers,
We have our special: spectral hookers.
It’s quite the choicest sort of hex:
The gift of insubstantial sex;
No playmate ever was so fresh
As one uncircumscribed by flesh,
And connoisseurs confirm as one:
With pretty ghouls you have more fun.
“Maine is cleaning up its roadways by removing the flippin’ vulgarities from license plates… [A] bunch of descendants of Puritans in a New England state ended up putting some of the raunchiest messages on state-issued license plates. … [E]stimatees suggested 400 offensive plates could be subject to recall…” —AP
Flippity quippity,
vanity license plates
shock us in Maine as in
few other states;
raunchy, unruly, and
unpuritanical
Mainiacs take too much
license with plates.
Doubledy troubledy,
banning vulgarities,
though they leave civilized
people appalled,
might only add to their
memorability,
now that they’re subject to
being recalled.
