“Male Mosquitoes May Have Once Sucked Blood, Amber Fossils Suggest… Female mosquitoes have strong proboscises that can puncture the skin of animals… . Male mosquitoes, on the other hand, do not—with their weaker mouth anatomy, they only feed on plant juices. But… researchers report finding two prehistoric male mosquitoes, trapped in amber, with piercing mouthparts similar to those of modern females.” —Smithsonian
The hematophagous mosquito that bites us—
bestows itchy welts, spreads disease, and incites us
to fury—is female! The male just slurps nectar.
His more flaccid snout is a feeble collector.
But males trapped in amber reveal in a study
They once enjoyed meals that were equally bloody.
Could drugs turn the clock back? Perhaps like the phallus
The hose would firm up with a dose of Cialis!
“The so-called ‘Gen Z zoom’ highlights yet another subtle difference between millennials and
the younger generation… the two age groups use the ‘zoom in’ feature on their phones very differently
when recording videos… Plenty of other differences like this have been called out on TikTok…” —Yahoo! News
Tikkity tokkity,
baffled millennials
look at Gen Z and say,
“Surely we’re doomed!
All their presumptions are
anti-traditional.
Why won’t they do as their
parents pre-zoomed?”
When my minions committed a goof,
The coverage went through the roof. But malfeasance? No proof. All that evidence? Poof!
To my fans, I’m beyond all reproof.
“Long thought to be extinct in Kenya, giant pangolins are now being helped back from the brink” —The Guardian
Despondently angling for pangolins,
We learn that a few are still here!
So now conservationists dangle ins-
pirational stats, and we cheer.
Strange beauties, so squamous and famous:
All hail to you, keratin kings!
Mankind feels enchantment, the same as
Is sparked when a nightingale sings.
You’re saved from the brink of extinction—
But please, do not rush to relax;
Preserve yourselves clear of that brink: shun
Your fans, and keep watching your backs.
“Kangaroo punches police officer in face as it is captured after weekend on the run in Canada… [The staff sergeant] said the officers contacted the kangaroo’s handlers and grabbed it by the tail, as instructed.” —The Guardian
A renegade she-kangaroo,
On the run from a Canada zoo,
Punched the face of a cop
Who, to prompt her to stop,
Grabbed her tail. (I’d have clocked him one too.)
“The British Museum has solicited the public’s help in finding an estimated 2,000 artifacts that had been stolen from the institution’s collection over the course of several years.” —Time
“Rishi Sunak cancelled his meeting with the Greek prime minister after [the minister] told the BBC
on Sunday he wanted… the Elgin Marbles… returned from the British Museum to Greece.” —BBC
Those insolent Greeks who decry us
Are really insufferably pious
To claim they’re bereft;
When we talked about theft
We clearly meant from us, not by us.
Mike Pence “wrote in his book that he told Trump, ‘You know, I don’t think I have the authority to change the outcome’ of the election on Jan. 6. But Pence allegedly told Smith’s investigators that the comma should have never been placed there. According to sources, Pence told Smith’s investigators that he actually meant to write in his book that he admonished Trump, ‘You know I don’t think I have the authority to change the outcome,’ suggesting Trump was well aware of the limitations of Pence’s authority days before Jan. 6…” —ABC News
So, did he know
he was guilty, or not?
One little comma
can matter a lot.
