“The creator of Wallace and Gromit has revealed that the world’s most famous stop-motion animated dog was nearly a cat.” —The Guardian
Ay oop, Gromit puss, big day ahead! Ah. Please move that rubble from my bed. Let’s get packing—fetch the Wensleydale! I’ve explained my diet, which is quail. Need your help, lad, nailing in these planks! I’d prefer to clean my whiskers, thanks. Like to hold the hammer and the glue? I don’t think so, honestly, do you? One more push, we’re headed for the Moon! See you soon. Or maybe after soon.
“What Did Jurassic Forests Sound Like? Like This. Scientists spent over a decade reconstructing the calls of nine species of ancient insects to create the first accurate Jurassic soundscape. —The New York Times
Plus ça change, I have to say. Those ancient crickets sound Just like the ones I hear today, Which make my eardrums pound. The next time I walk in the park And hear a katydid, I’ll shut my eyes and in the dark Swat like irked dinos did.
“Tropical Storm Dolly is moving quickly across the Atlantic Ocean… ‘Heavy rain from Dolly could affect the Leeward Islands late Saturday into Sunday…'” —The Guardian
This heavy rain from Dolly Will whip the ocean white; The prospect isn’t jolly, This heavy rain from Dolly; Be sure to take a brolly, And as you grip it tight, Salute our other Dolly, Whose reign was very light.
There’s no reason to fret when it’s harder to get gasoline for your automobile. We know those who believe are assured to receive what they need to survive this ordeal.
Though it may hit a nerve, buckle down and conserve like our ancestors managed before. The good Lord’s on our side so He’s sure to provide and remember, it’s not our first war.
I expect this discussion compels every Russian to pray through the fighting’s duration. As you make your way out I’ll remind the devout to deposit their hefty donation.
“Our critic A.O. Scott’s latest poetry close read focuses on just 20 exquisite words [counting the poem title] written by Ezra Pound.” —The New York Times
“Wisconsin kitten with 29 toes breaks world record for most toes on a cat: Maine Coon named Erebus Anomaly breaks previous record of 28 toes held for over two decades…“ —The Guardian
Fidgety digity, Feline Anomaly Now holds the record for Number of toes;
That surely merits a Hyperdactylical Tribute, so this is a Start (and a close).
“Holy water: Nuns fight Italian town’s plans to take away their beach club” —The Guardian
No special dispensation? Listen, mister, Don’t ever try to tangle with a sister. You think these nuns will fold? Oh, faithless fool, You clearly didn’t go to Catholic school!
“60 cats rescued from abandoned sailboat anchored off beach in Washington state” —CBS
Jellybean, Hercules, Buttercup, too, seized an old sailboat, enlisting as crew. “Let’s hook us some tuna, lets haul in the cod! Does anyone know how to wind up a rod?”
Jelly was captain, Butter set pace. Order was kept with a spritz to the face. The fish weren’t biting according to plan— “Does anyone know how to open a can?”
The odor of litter began to increase till meddling fishermen called the police. These valiant sailors of Washington’s shores request a new residence—how about yours?
“You’re more likely to die in a car accident on a day when a major music album is released, a team at Harvard has found. The researchers looked at the 10 most popular albums released on Spotify in 2017-2022… and found that fatal accidents were 15.1% higher on the day of release. They linked the findings to motorists trying to play the new music on their phones while driving.” —Oddacity News
Enough with a cappella round the clock To dash some passing sailor on a rock! If maximum destruction is our goal, Let’s switch to Spotify and rock and roll.
“A Texas appeals court has slashed the $50m judgment to $1.5m against Alex Jones, founder of the rightwing platform Infowars, over falsely calling the 2012 Sandy Hook school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut a hoax. … The unanimous opinion issued by the Texas third court of appeals found that Sandy Hook parents Neil Heslin and Scarlett Lewis did not show sufficient evidence that harassment enflamed by Jones’s hoax claims rose to a level that would allow them to exceed the state’s $750,000 cap on damages. —The Guardian
Your tears when strangers mocked your little child Don’t merit 50 million bucks. That’s wild. We don’t dispute the bullet through his head; Let’s say one million and a half instead, For distribution by the court cashiers: One quarter mill for each of his six years.
