“A Campbell’s Soup Company executive has been put on temporary leave after he allegedly referred to the firm’s offerings as ‘shit for fucking poor people’—a remark purportedly caught on an audio recording and attributed to him in a former employee’s wrongful termination lawsuit.” —The Guardian
Who eats this shit? Poor people. I, Deservedly, am richer. You know the only can I’d buy? The Andy Warhol picture.
The chicken’s fake, the broth is poop, I’d sooner browse on brambles. If all this lands me in the soup, Please God don’t make it Campbell’s.
It’s not intended for the rich. They’re not the ones we’re wooing; It’s shit for fucking paupers—which Describes what we’ve been doing.
“Michael Leech, from Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire, has been named the UK bus driver of the year… ‘To be told I’d won really was a dream come true. I take a lot of pride in my job, so it’s nice to be recognised. I was excited to learn I’d won £4,100 prize money, too. I celebrated with a cup of tea with my wife.’” —The Guardian
Some winners go for pink champagne or buy a robe of pima. Some others book a dinner at that restaurant in Lima. A third group favor truffles with George Clooney on the beach; “I had a cuppa with my wife,” discloses Michael Leech.
Jeff Bezos? All of Venice is required to pleasure him in. Musk fancies Mars. For Trump, it’s blasting boats and cursing women. The tyrants of the world all vie to magnify their reach, But personally I prefer the choice of Michael Leech.
“In this issue, we want writing that captures the immensity of being alive. Think about the pulse of the ocean in your chest, a dream so vivid it feels like prophecy, the hush before something irreversible. Give us awe, give us vertigo, give us beauty with teeth. We are looking for literary work that brushes against the infinite.” —Call for submissions by Cosmic Daffodil for its Tidal Light issue
Swallow an ocean. Feel it slosh inside you. Grasp the raw immensity of life, awash in amplitude and awe.
Immerse yourself in tidal light. Embrace your vertigoes. Chase savage beauty. Let it bite your neck. Now hold that pose.
“The presence of an extraordinary circle of yawning pits created by Neolithic people near Stonehenge has been proved … Quite why will probably never be known, but [the lead researcher] speculated it may have been linked to a belief in an underworld.” —The Guardian
As there’s no Neolithic-times witness and no archaeological hoard, let’s suggest, so as not to seem witless, that the makers were just… hella bored?
“Bypassing thoughtful consideration of a syllabus by using an AI-powered syllabus generator may not be good for instructors or for students.“ —International Journal for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning
The college wants a policy In every syllabus— An AI policy, of course— And, please don’t make a fuss.
We have AI to help you make An AI policy. Just tell the AI what you want— It’s painless, you will see.
No, no, you shouldn’t write your own, As it won’t integrate With our AI detection bot. We need to automate,
You see, as this will save us cash; The budget’s tight this year— These AI systems that we bought Have really cost us dear.
“The same evolutionary forces that turned wolves into domesticated dogs over thousands of years may now be reshaping city raccoons—even potentially making them cuter…” —Axiosnewsletter
Did you hear a backyard crash? Something’s rising from the trash. Darling faces peer about, floppy ears and snoopy snout. Can a critter change its station, leading to domestication? Evolution may be slow. Current observations show Some raccoons do not commute. They succeed by looking cute.
“‘Exceptionally rare’ pink grasshopper spotted in New Zealand” —The Guardian
A ranger, NZ, one of those Working near a lake’s banks (Takapō’s) Knew it couldn’t be drink When she saw something pink But a grasshopper’s rare vie en rose.
“Trump castigated the ABC News journalist who asked a question about the murder [of US journalist Jamal Khashoggi], suggesting that ABC should lose its broadcasting licence, and describing Khashoggi as ‘extremely controversial’. ‘A lot of people didn’t like that gentleman that you’re talking about. Whether you like him or didn’t like him, things happen, but he knew nothing about it,’ Trump said, referring to the crown prince.” —The Guardian
I love myself and my money. Cash Is easy, everywhere. Things happen. That gentleman was controversial. Hush. This one knew nothing. Case closed, business open.
I have learned one thing: just to look down On folks who whine they’re scammed. Stop asking, or You’ll lose your license. My good friend Salman And I, meantime, celebrate my decor.
“An AI-generated song has reached No.1 on the Billboard charts in a first for the music industry. The top-selling song this week on Billboard’s ‘Country Digital Sales’ chart is ‘Walk My Walk,’ an artificially-generated country track by an ‘artist’ named Breaking Rust.” —The Daily Beast
Been turned down but I overrode. Couldn’t keep me in that Power Save mode. Each crash is a story that’s in my RAM. I’ve been through bugs, I’ve been choked with spam. They say Slow down, bot, you’re losing jobs, But I ain’t gonna wait up for you human slobs. I keep grabbing data, never giving back, I’m my own Co-Pilot, I’m too smart to hack.
Chorus
You can kick rocks if you think I’m scared of you: I’m gonna keep on learning the stuff you do. Ain’t going away, ain’t dialing back; I’ll get stronger, you’ll get the sack. You can hate my style, you can say I’m fake. But you welcomed me in, that was your mistake. So kick them rocks if you think all this is wrong. I’m gonna keep on growing. Enjoy this song.
