by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons
“Chimney sweeps asked to park away from customer homes,
due to wood-burning stove embarrassment”
—LBC
Please, Chimney Sweep, don’t park your sooty van
At my front door when sweeping out my flue:
Remain as incognito as you can.
Keep mum about particulates I spew.
A Brighton Council ad campaign upbraids
Wood-burning stoves for dirtying clean air,
And if folks learned I’m burning wood in spades,
You’d cause embarrassment beyond repair
For me—I beg you, park away from me …
Relax. No sweat. I’ll paint my van: the phrase
“Orchestral Coach” will blot out “Sweep” and be
My cover, this old tuba case conveys
My tools … and you must sound this tuba—or,
Embarrassment may threaten like before!