by Stephen Gold

“Peppa Pig accused of turning American children into brats”
—The Times

You know how pigs aren’t meant to fly?
Well, here is one who’s fled her sty,
And landed in the USA.
We wish that she would go away!

So far from being heaven-sent,
She’s grumpy, rude and truculent,
With manners way across the line.
What is it with this surly swine?

Oh Peppa, had you been discreet,
And taught our children to be sweet,
Offense would never have been taken.
Grunting, dear, won’t save your bacon.