by Ruth S. Baker

“City tells New Yorkers: don’t panic about ‘splooting’ squirrels”
—The Guardian

Hark, New Yorkers: do not panic
If a squirrel’s lying splat;
Call no doctor or mechanic:
Leave the little creature flat,

With his limbs and tail extended.
Spare him fuss and ridicule;
There is nothing to be mended:
He is simply keeping cool.

What you’re seeing is a splooter.
Citizens, improve your lot:
Take that squirrel as your tutor!
Ground feels good when tums get hot.