Poems of the Week

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Nicknames

by Chris O’Carroll

President Nelson (best not call him Russ),
As Heaven’s new point man, is making a fuss.
As sure as he’s sure that Joe Smith was no fraud,
He’s certain that nicknames are frowned on by God.
For “Latter-day Saints,” may we say “LDS”?
He’s thundering no where Saints used to say yes.
If anyone these days should call him a “Mormon,”
He’d call that an error in need of reformin’.
We must say the whole name, says President Russ.
No slack on this score is Russ cutting for us.