by Stephen Pisani
“Ted Cruz Calls Cancun Group Text Leaker ‘Nasty’: ‘Just Don’t Be A**holes’”
Dear “friend” who took our private chat
and leaked it to the Times,
we now consider you a rat,
and won’t forgive these crimes.
My wife is pissed, I’ll have you know.
Our kids can’t keep from crying.
I’ll have to go on Fox news shows,
convince them all you’re lying.
Do you possess no sense of shame,
no shred of self-respect?
When we flee from a hurricane,
you shan’t receive a text.