by Orel Protopopescu
(From “From Massages to ‘Pawicures,’” New York Times, July 2017)
No need to park your well-bred pet
with friends or sitters or your vet
while you sail off to distant ports.
Now there’s a choice of pet resorts.
Want pawicures and rooms with views
and cams that give you real-time news
of Fido’s facials, hand-plucked hairs?
The gods of commerce heard your prayers.
But could they soothe the fat wolf PACs
whose polished claws fillet our backs?
What spa tames howling demagogues?
Not one? We’re going to the dogs!