by John Ridland
(To the tune of “Glow Worm,” as sung by the Mills Brothers)
Tweet, little Trumpster, twitter, twitter
Tweet us the gold that makes you glitter
Safe in the gilt of Mar-a-Lago
Tweet at the gentleman from Chicago
Twitter all night in your pajamas
Fairytale tweets about the Obamas
Twitter the “fake facts” on which you live
Not any real alternative
Tweet all you want, our little Twitterist
Tweet us the one that makes you bitterest
How a Reality vaudevillean
Lost to a woman by three million
How all the newspapers but two
Came out for her and not for you
Then the Electors kissed your—feet
Tweet, little Tweetster, tweet.
Tweet, little Twitterer, tweet and twitter
Tweet us the laughs that make us titter
Tweet with a roar like a lyin’ lion
Tweet like your presidency is dyin’
Twitter your twitters more and more manic
Twitter goin’ down on your Titanic
Deep on the bottom of the ocean
You can tweet twitters in slow motion
When you are sunk, oh how we’ll miss you,
Still, while the octopussies kiss you,
When you are grabbed in a watery grave
Yours is a life we couldn’t save
You’ll have been trumped by your own twitters,
Runt of the presidential litters
You can stay on in the big White House
As Vladimir Putin’s pet mouse.
Tweet, little twitterer, tweet
Tweet, little twitterer, tweet
Tweet, little twitterer, tweet
Tweet, little twitterer, tweet. Tweet.