BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT If you have a book you’d like considered for a review in Light—one that includes a large helping of comic verse and was published within the previous 12 months, or will be published in the next eight—please send a copy to:Barbara Loots4741 Central St.Ste. 601Kansas City, MO 64112(Pre-print-run electronic copies may […]
by Clyde Always “Doctors use breast implants to save lung transplant patient who nearly died from vaping” —New York Post There once was a man from Missouri who vaped ‘til his lungs were a slurry. His surgical nurse thought the doc was perverse when he called for “two D-cups—and hurry!”
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Larkin was a Larrikin Larkin was a larrikin; Larkin was a toad. He liked to take his lady friends to Cemetery Road and share a pot of English tea, way back in nineteen sixty-three. Larkin was a larrikin;Larkin was a hoot.He boogied with librariansbehind the library chute. He shimmied like […]
by Clyde Always “A naked man was detained on Monday after air travelers spotted him proudly sauntering through Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport. Eye-popping video shows the man—without any baggage in sight or a stitch of clothing…” —New York Post Look at my carry-on! Packing’s a snap. It’s a pleasure to handle and fits on my […]
by Clyde Always “Woman is ‘humbled’ when Hinge date asks to pop her pimple” —Independent This fella I’m seeing— he isn’t too fussy. When asked why he likes me, he answered: “You’re pussy.”
by Clyde Always “‘No-Quit’ Notice In McDonald’s Forbidding Employees From Quitting Sparks Angry Debate…” —Yahoo! News “I’ve banned the act of quitting,” one franchisee explains. “How terribly befitting,” cry those who work in chains.
by Clyde Always “Handbag ‘smaller than a grain of salt’ sells for over $63,000” —CNN Tersity-pursity, Big Apple artisans crafted a miniscule Louis Vuitton. One who is holding this infinitesimal bag might articulate: “Dammit, it’s gone!”
by Clyde Always “Doctors in Sri Lanka remove ‘world’s largest’ kidney stone…” —New York Post A kidney stone 28 ounces in mass? Hard pass.
by Clyde Always “A Georgia man was so unhappy with his 6-foot frame that he spent more than $100,000 on a Turkish leg-lengthening surgery to add 7 inches to his height.” —New York Post Stumpity-lumpity, leg-stretching surgery boosts one in stature? To this, I retort: any procedure so uneconomical must leave you feeling a tiny […]
by Clyde Always “A man in Louisville, Kentucky, is facing an assault charge after shooting his roommate “in the ass” during a fight about eating their last Hot Pocket, officials said.” —CNN Over a Hot Pocket—that’s why I shot ‘im. Soon as I’d dunnit, I knew I’d hit bottom.
Featured PoetAllison Joseph Spotlight: Allison Josephby Anna M. Evans Book Reviewsby Barbara Egel Poems by…Brian AllgarClyde AlwaysGage AmonetteDamian BalassoneSteven Urquhart BellBruce BennettJerome BettsJane BlanchardDan CampionJoshua CobenBarbara CrookerPat D’AmicoMartin J. ElsterDaniel GalefLynn GilbertRich GlinnenStephen GoldMidge GoldbergTimothy GreenJulia GriffinJan D. HodgeShaun JexA.M. JusterSteven KentPam LewisBarbara LootsBevil LuckJosh LuckenbachSimon MacCullochRob McClureBruce McGuffinBob McKentySusan McLeanJoe MedeirosSimon MermelsteinAlistair NoonChris O’CarrollHeidi […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Tiny Man I wish I had a tiny manto sit upon my shoulder, andgive me advice when I am blue—then I would know just what to do.Instead, he’s almost 60 pounds;my spine is making cracking sounds. Gage Amonette is a senior at Washington State University and has lived in the […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT The Mad President’s song after Lewis Carroll He thought he saw a Hanging Man,And hoped it was Mike Pence:He looked again, and found it wasA grain of common sense.“If this should spread,” he grimly said,“My future’s looking tense!” He thought he saw a Tortoise ShellThat crawled along the ditch:He looked […]
by Clyde Always “Sea lions flee in panic after man backflips off pier to harass them…” —The Sacramento Bee If you are a curious human (sans vessel, commander and crewmen), don’t guzzle a beer and then dive off the pier! To see us up closer, just zoom in.
by Clyde Always “Saucon Valley is not the only American community bedeviled by Satan clubs.” —Reason Clippity-skippity, After School Satan Clubs must be allowed, says the ACLU. People denying these extracurriculars’ harmlessness won’t give the Devil his due.