Stephen Gold



When Alice first brought Stanley home,
Charmaine and I were wowed.
He seemed so kind, polite, refined,
A boy to make you proud.

Regard for his outstanding gifts
Came swiftly to the boil,
When we received the thrilling news
His dad owned Dallas Oil.

And so, dear friends and family,
Upon this special day,
My heart is full of feelings
I’m just bursting to convey.

With darling Stan, our lamb can plan
A blissful life ahead.
So why! By all that’s holy!
Has she gone and married Ted?

Stephen Gold was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and practiced law there for almost 40 years, robustly challenging the notion that practice makes perfect. He and his wife, Ruth, now live in London, close by their disbelieving children and grandchildren. His special loves (at least, the ones he’s prepared to reveal) are the limerick and the parody. He has over 700 limericks published in, the project to define by limerick every word in the Oxford English Dictionary, and is a contributor to Lighten Up Online. Over the years, he has had wins in the limerick and parody contests of the Washington Post Style Invitational (now The Invitational), though his major achievement has been to lower the average IQ of its devotees.