Julia Griffin

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT Smarthurian “The maker of a ‘smart’ male chastity device has recommended using a screwdriverto break it open after warnings it can be locked remotely by hackers.”—The Guardian The Queen was feasting lustilyAmong her trusty train:Bold Enid, gallant Vivien,And chivalrous Elaine. Amongst them sat their gentle knights, So fresh and debonnaire:Meek […]

Julia Griffin

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT The Men from U.N.C.L.E.A.N. “UNCLIMATECHANGECONFERENCEUK 2021″                           —Poster for COP26 Too grim to aim a rhyme at?It’s all that’s in my range:UNCONFERENCE, UNCLIMATE,UNCHANGE. Mollusk of the Year “Researchers in Germany are asking people around the world to vote for their favourite creature out of a list of five nominees. The winner will […]

Julia Griffin

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT I Heard A Fly … After Emily Dickinson “Buzz off!” I told the Fly. “I’m busy.”“Busy is as busy does!”Replied the Fly. “Don’t make me dizzy;You’re just dead, dear. That’s the buzz.” Final Curtains A stab is a stab, that’s certain;But none is as bad, to me,As a stab through […]

Julia Griffin

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT Magdalene Distressed Being a Lady Saint, I’ve lots of hair.It used to swirl while I was lost in prayer,Yellow as sunlight, reaching to my seat,Long, tender tendrils tending everywhere. At times as modest as a well-draped sheet,It offered a reliable retreatIn certain situations, or, outspread,A towel for the longest, dampest […]

Spotlight: Julia Griffin

BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT A Light Heavyweight Tells All by Melissa Balmain “I basically don’t do anything but cook, write, make ice cream, panic about schoolwork, and walk my dog,” Julia Griffin told me in July, via Zoom. “Oh, and read.” As any fan of hers would, I instantly expanded that modest list in […]

Julia Griffin—Featured Poet

  CONTENTS    |    NEXT This page is dedicated, with love, to Larry Weiss (1942-2020) The Other Night … Not last night but the night before,I saw Eternity, the big tom cat:He curled himself before my door,Like a great ring. And as I pondered that,Quick down the wall came Time, his shady twin,And knocked […]

Julia Griffin

BACK  |  CONTENTS  |  NEXT Weepiness The comfort of weeping soon passes; And then it’s a bore to dispose Of the spatters of salt on one’s glasses, And the difficult stuff up one’s nose. Vessel Orchestra “Composed of thirty-two sculptures, utilitarian containers, and decorative objects from the Museum’s collection, Vessel Orchestra is the first sound-based […]

Julia Griffin

BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Prep-Westeros I’ve never fancied watching people kill. It isn’t that I think it should be banned (Provided no one’s killed against their will), But my delights are generally bland, And even when the slaughter’s really grand I can’t contain it in my comfort zones; Yet, if the truth be accurately […]

Julia Griffin

BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Peterman Girl* Although I am nearly fifty-fiveAnd look about twice my age,I feel I’m finally coming aliveAs I scour each Peterman page.O who’d have thought there’d be such romance, Such a dazzling red alert,In a pair of pleat-front wide-leg pantsAnd a high-neck stretch-satin shirt?A woman steps onto a balcony.All Paris […]

Julia Griffin

BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Julia would like to dedicate this page to her beloved mother, Miriam Griffin (1935-2018) Amazing Grease Space is full of dirty, toxic grease, scientists reveal—The Guardian, June 2018 How cleanly shines each little star On Heaven’s mantelpiece; And how discomfited we are To learn that shine is grease! It’s carbon, […]

Julia Griffin

BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Non-Poor Getty [Lady Ursula] gave in to Getty because “I felt so lost and lonely I fell for this dear old man’s kindness and charm.” … She later recalled that she felt sorry for him because of his wealth. —The Times When John Paul Getty sought to get The Duke […]

God’s Gift

by Julia Griffin “Giving the Middle Finger Is a ‘God-Given’ Right, a Quebec Judge Says” —The New York Times When God made Adam out of dirt, He did not make him linger But kept directions quick and curt: “This is a middle finger. “I’ll give away your favorite bone (I’ve got a special rivet), But […]


by Julia Griffin “A woman from London has completed a decade-long mission to sample a scone at every National Trust location with a tearoom or restaurant.” —The Guardian It wasn’t easy. Scones at Castle Drogo Were dry as dust, which wasn’t what they’d claimed. “Ickworth” should really be that house’s logo: Like Cherryburn, it’s only […]

Santos On Fire

by Julia Griffin “George Santos Doubles Down on Making AR-15 the ‘National Gun’ of the U.S… [Santos says:] “We have national everything, why not have a national gun? It saves lives on a daily basis, and it’s not reported.” —Newsweek At Daily Basis U, the Dean Devotedly contrives To honor our AR-15 For saving all […]

Sub Jewdice

by Julia Griffin “George Santos admits being a ‘terrible liar’ to Britain’s Piers Morgan … [He] pushed back, however, on the suggestion that he had lied about being Jewish. … ‘I’d always say I’m Catholic but I come from a Jewish family so that makes me Jew-ish. It’s always been a party favor, everybody’s always […]