Bring bonbons to the desert; later leisure
will prove that God made chocolate truffles sweet.
At dinner with your date, refuse to eat.
Contest the line dividing guilt and pleasure.
Pour glitter on your head; lament its excess.
Attend the Mass to help your pewmates flirt.
Write sonnets and love letters in the dirt
and sign with not your name, or Os, just Xs.
Become your own admirer, then repent.
Let passion make you pious; saints will swoon.
Distribute flowers every day of Lent.
Put ashes on whatever you adore:
the teddy bear, the cards, the pink balloon
now sinking to the dusty kitchen floor.
“Millions of dollars in sales of North Korean false eyelashes—marketed in beauty stores around the world
as ‘made in China’—helped drive a recovery in the secretive state’s exports last year. The processing and packaging of North Korean false eyelashes—openly conducted in neighbouring China,
the country’s largest trading partner—gives Kim Jong Un’s regime a way to skirt international sanctions
[that were intended to stall Pyongyang’s nuclear weapons program], providing a vital source of foreign currency.” —Reuters
It’s really quite scary to think
That thanks to a secretive link
A nuclear stash
Can be bought for a lash
And we’re buying it each time we blink.
“The NFL is totally RIGGED for the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift, Mr. Pfizer (Travis Kelce).
All to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA. Calling it now: [During the Super Bowl]… Swift comes out
at the halftime show and ‘endorses’ Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield. It’s all been an op since day one.” —Mike Crispi, advancing one of many right-wing conspiracy theories involving Swift, Kelce and the Super Bowl
Our powerful forces are working in secret!
A handsome tight end and a popular singer
are clouding the minds and the hearts of the people
with phony romance and a vaccine humdinger!
To further our purpose of sinking the country,
we’ve rigged a whole season of fake competition,
propping up psyops to spread propaganda,
promoting our liberal plot of sedition.
Perhaps fans won’t notice in all of the uproar
the sinister message we Libs are promoting:
that justice and truth and humanity matter.
And they can insist on their freedom by voting!
“Andrew Scott: sex scenes less ‘embarrassing’ for audience if one actor plays both characters” —The Guardian
I cringe and furiously doodle
Whenever two on stage canoodle;
A pair of actors making out
Has all my blush-genes breaking out.
When was a more embarrassed wreck seen
Than I, before a four-hand sex scene?
Imagine, then, how I’m delighted
To find this situation righted!
Great Scott! by his exclusive antics,
Has saved the boards for shy romantics;
For none (save Governor De Santis)
Are shamed by solo in flagrantes.