Rod Serling never thought of this
Peculiar metamorphosis
From astronauts to tacos.
My guess is that, for weightless bliss,
Rod might have floated nachos.
“Boris Johnson used to mock ‘eco-doomsters.’ Now he’s a climate champion.” —The Washington Post
Do as I say and not as I once said: Old Daily Telegraphs record my sneers At crusties—which I hope you haven’t read, Since I’ve now U-turned over climate fears! In doomsday terms, it’s almost midnight now. So bike or walk, ride trains, ditch coal, don’t tilt At windmill power. Eat more vegan chow— You must unstitch our suffocating quilt At once, or stand no chance of racing to Net zero well before it’s far too late! … Do as I say and not as I can do: No train can get me to my dinner date On time. So I will fly—and you will see That rules I make do not apply to me!
November 5 (Guy Fawkes Night/Firework Night in the UK) “is also known as Bonfire Night. Effigies
are thrown on the fires—traditionally of Guy Fawkes, but sometimes of other unpopular people, such
as certain politicians or soccer players.” —The Mercury News
“Please to remember the Fifth of November…” —Trad. British rhyme
Please to remember the kind of November
When news was slow and oh, so mellow.
Please to remember the kind of November
When neither Reds nor Blues were yellow.
Please to remember the kind of November
When pols saw their lessons and strove to learn them.
If you remember, then model your Member,
And burn them.
Deep in December, it’s wise to remember
That soccer’s on, though snow is flying.
Deep in December, it’s wise to remember
The “fool” who flubbed, still out there trying.
Deep in December, it’s wise to remember
That some we’ll forgive, but some others, spurn them.
Only December? Can’t wait for November
To burn them.
“Apple’s Most Back-Ordered New Product Is Not What You Expect: It’s A $19 Cloth” —The New York Times
We know how the old fable goes,
But that of the king with no clothes
Has nothing on Apple—
Mere reason can’t grapple
When folks want to pay through the nose.
“G-20 make mild pledges on climate neutrality… [T]he leaders ‘took only baby steps’ in the agreement
and did almost nothing new… The leaders said they were ‘working on actionable options…’” –AP News
Blabbity blabbity,
carbon neutrality
seemed like a serious
goal, but in fact
leaders still working on
actionability
weren’t, apparently,
able to act.
“One woman, an adult actress and model on OnlyFans, said she was a ‘patriot’ after she was sentenced to 14 days behind bars for a picture showing her buttocks near the Kremlin walls.” —The Guardian
My patriotic fervor truly dazzles;
I go wherever loyalism calls,
To measure up my breasts against St. Basil’s,
Or air my buttocks near the Kremlin walls.
“English town mourning Derek the Goose to raise statue in her honour. … Watchet harbour was the inspiration for Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s poem The Rime of the Ancient Mariner and a striking statue of the sailor and the albatross he shoots is a landmark in the town.” —The Guardian
Not far from that amazing bird
Which leaves the Coleridge-reader stirred,
Derek, the wrongly-gendered goose
Who sadly suffered fox-abuse
Upon the slipway once her dorm,
May live again, in solid form,
Like regal eagles, royal swans,
And cheer up Watchet, cast in bronze.
“Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen says she’s ‘shocked’ by the scale of Facebook’s ‘metaverse’ plans. Facebook recently said it would hire 10,000 people to build the metaverse.” —Business Insider
What the FitzGerald? Are they telling me
That social media’s seizing poetry?
That every Netizen shall rhyme and scan?
Half can’t tell ‘its’ from ‘it’s’ or ‘then’ from ‘than.’
All measured, metered metaphor will go
In fav. of curt abbrev’s, IMHO,
As every bore confusing ‘your’ with ‘you’re’
Becomes the next McGonagall or Moore,
And each Diana, Darren, Dee, and Don
Pounds out vast Cantos WITH THE CAPS LOCK ON.
Ye gods, the vision makes the senses reel!
To arms, my bards! (Merci, Rouget de Lisle).
‘Mid such dank swamps, so ‘yuge’ we’ll never drain them,
Let’s raise our standards—or at least maintain them—
And when we meet a colleague in despair
Console them with a kindly, “There, their, they’re.”
“Spanx chief gives all employees first-class plane tickets and $10,000 Shapewear company founder Sara Blakely surprised employees at a party
to mark Spanx’s new $1.2bn valuation” —The Guardian
Sara, queen of shapely vesture,
Made a sweetly fitting gesture,
Giving all her employees
First-class tickets overseas,
Letting everyone escape where
They might shed all thoughts of shapewear,
Briefly free from stringent Spanx.
Spanxers, raise a thong of thanx!
“Seneca Falls Voters Weigh Garbage Odors Against Fear of Tax Hikes; Will Landfill’s Mandated Dec. 2025 Closing Date Stick?” —Water Front Online blog
The landfill? Let’s face it. It reeks!
No wonder the Town Board now seeks A date for its closing. Who wants to be nosing
That mountain of garbage? Its peaks
Tower over and spoil the view.
Who’d want that beside them? Would you? But wait. Higher taxes? Perhaps that relaxes
Your outrage and urge to go Pew!
