by Julia Griffin
“The White House has defended Ivanka Trump tweeting a photo of herself
holding up a can of Goya beans”
—The Guardian
The best are Bacon Beans, I think,
With Sisleys, and a cup
Of Dufy, coarsely ground (a drink
That always wakes me up);
Blake Beans I find enticing still
(A Buffet-worthy snack):
I really like them Bruegheled till
They’re little short of Braque.
I’m keen on Buthe Beans, with kraut,
And Pintos—I have jars:
No Canaletto keeps me out,
Nor Tintoretto bars;
What else? The sweet Kandinsky Bean
Is tasty after lunch;
But bitter Goyas!—well, I mean,
I’d not choose them to Munch.
by Nora Jay
“House cat ancestors’ remains found in Polish caves—2,000 miles from home
The discovery of 7,000-year-old remains of the Near Eastern wildcat in Europe adds a new
wrinkle to the cat’s evolutionary story. …
[T]he feline’s presence suggests it was comfortable living alongside, if not exactly with, humans—
an important step on the road to becoming fully domesticated.”
—National Geographic
Unearthed remains of house cats’ distant kith
Reveal a step towards domestication:
Living alongside, not exactly with.
A step, they say. I’d say a destination.
by Pat D’Amico
The plumping of lips,
Alas, costs a lot.
The plumper delivers
Shot after shot.
As for the impact,
There’s no guarantee
When a mask is required
For the plumpee.
by Julia Griffin
“Two mummies of high-status individuals who lived at the time of Cleopatra
have been uncovered at Taposiris Magna…
One bears an image of a scarab, symbolising rebirth, painted in gold leaf.”
—The Guardian
Trusting to gods unknown, you lived and died;
Grand shells were built and you were lodged inside.
The gold dust thinned away. Unfleshed, unjointed,
You waited there.
Now, are you disappointed?
by Iris Herriot
“France: Mysterious ‘Templar’ [Cross] Sign In Cornfield Attracts Thousands Of Tourists
In a rather shocking incident, a giant crop circle appeared out of the blue
in Northern France and is now responsible for drawing people in huge flocks.”
—Republicworld.com
This rather shocking incident
Left yards of corn severely bent:
Drawn by the rumours of these shocks,
Voyeurs arrived in urban flocks
To see, descended from the blue,
A huge Cross sign! (Cross farmer, too.)
by Ruth S. Baker
“The moon is 85 million years younger than previously thought”
—Space.com
With how loud steps, O Moon, thou scuff’st the skies!
How moodily, with what a scowling face!
Thy music drowns the tuneful spheres of space;
Thou seem’st to live on helium and fries.
Indeed the scientists now recognize
Their faulty maths, and from thy score erase
85 million years; there’s still no case
For surliness. ‘Tis late! Thou hast to rise!
I do not wish to spy, believe thou me,
Into thy love life—nor do I admit
Thou art a “crater face.” No, verily,
’Tis just a phase. Thou wilt grow out of it.
But if thou wouldst be paid to luminesce,
Pray do not leave thine orbit such a mess.
by Joseph Moorman
We have to accept
That our national pastime
Will not be played
The way it was last time.
by Julia Griffin
“Merriam-Webster has weighed in on the debate over the word ‘irregardless,’
confirming that it is a proper, dictionary-verified word.”
—The Guardian
I will not irrenounce “irregardless”:
It’s an entry irrichly majestic;
We can hardly irrender discardless
Illocutions so pananapestic.
Though complaints may irrise (there’s a yardful),
And they seem to be unirremitting,
I must still irrefuse “irregardful,”
Irreluctancy notnotwithsitting.
by Phil Huffy
“Michael Cohen landed back behind bars Thursday
after… his evening out at a Manhattan restaurant
led federal officials to review his release from prison…”
—New York Post
Michael Cohen—
Where you goin’?
by J.P. Celia
“Let them eat cake.”
—Marie Antoinette
(For Bastille Day, July 14)
They say you rode the open cart
As fits a queen,
With grace, despite the crowd who roared,
“La guillotine!”
A priest had been assigned, they say,
To comfort you,
Whom you regarded like a cheese
More green than bleu.
You stepped, they say, by accident
Upon the toes
Of he whose job it was to kill
The people’s foes.
“Excuse me, sir,” they say you said,
And I know why:
You were a lady, even when
Condemned to die.
That crass remark about the cake
(Brioche? Souffle?)
Was slander, and a gross untruth.
Or so they say.
by Nora Jay
“The Fuji-Q Highland amusement park near Tokyo has an unorthodox request
for its roller coaster riders. ‘Please scream inside your heart,’ and not out loud,
the park is asking. The unusual ask is meant to reduce the risk of spreading
the coronavirus.”
—NPR
Fuji-Q, I’ll play my part
In your anti-COVID trick:
Though my roller coaster cart
Is unconscionably quick,
I am screaming in my heart.
I am also being sick.
by Katie Menzer
Love in COVID times
Means never having to say
Put on your damn mask
by Stephen Pisani
“South Dakota governor: Masks are optional at Mount Rushmore event Trump’s attending”
—The Hill
Abe Lincoln isn’t wearing one.
Thomas Jefferson ain’t neither.
George Washington’s exposed to sun.
Even Teddy gets a breather.
I’m greater than them all, bar none,
so I won’t wear one either.
by Julia Griffin
for Maria
“Barcelona Opera Reopens With An Audience Of Plants”
—NPR
And as the four musicians played,
The audience discreetly swayed,
While green ancestral traces stirred,
Deep in their sap, of something heard
Long since, by any count, in Thrace,
Where one of this same restless race
Had called upon their sympathies;
And so, although there was no breeze
In this strange greenhouse, they breathed in
The cello and the violin
Like watered air, and every stem
Sang with the sunlight played to them.
by Ruth S. Baker
“There’s a new perfume that smells like outer space…
This scent was initially made to help train astronauts
and eliminate any surprises they may experience while launching into orbit.
Several astronauts have described the smell as being similar to seared steak,
raspberries and metal.”
—ABC News
The aura of the firmament
No human nose could tell
Till NASA launched a bottled scent
Which recreates the smell.
Weigh, Astronaut, this attribute,
And pause before you choose
An atmosphere of charcoaled fruit
And rusty barbecues.
