“A very royal throne! Stunned family learn mirror hanging in their downstairs loo
for 40 years once belonged to last queen of France Marie Antoinette…” —Daily Mail
Marie, Marie, before you lost your head, In me you looked to see your pretty face. Resentment of the Bourbons had not spread. Republicans had not yet smeared your grace … One day you said to me: “Dear Mirror, pray, Reveal to me why lies breed like a fly. I never said, ‘Let them eat cake.’ No way! No diamond necklace did I ever buy!” … Too late I warned: The tumbril’s on its way. Heads roll each day beneath the guillotine. Escape while you still can! … But let me say— Lest you get caught—You’ll always be my queen! … Old mirrors are well known not to disown: Oh, how you’re honored still beside this throne!
The crazies are out and about.
They demonstrate, threaten, and shout. I’m going to stay in And hope that we win—
Though that will change nothing, no doubt.
The President’s off on a tear.
He’s scaring all those he can scare. He figures, I’ll try it. If I cause a riot, Hell! all of my folks will be there.
I can’t see the future. It’s dim.
It’s perilous, murky, and grim. There’s much to go through. But one thing is true.
There’s hope, if we get rid of him!
“100 Million Ballots, But Experts Say ‘Heaven And Earth’ Being Moved For Election Mail” —NPR
The clerks are working overtime; the drivers strive all night,
The postmen’s sacks half break their backs; no part of this is light.
They need strong will, strategic skill, and also lots of luck:
For revving Heaven’s easy but this Earth seems truly stuck.
“Michigan court sides with gun advocates to reverse firearm ban at polls … ‘I feel like I need to have my gun at all times,’ said Jim Makowski, an attorney
representing plaintiffs in the suit against the secretary of state. … Makowski said Michiganders are already protected by state law … With such protections in place, he said there’s “no reason or justification
for [Benson’s] legal order,’ which he labeled ‘political’. —The Guardian
“I feel,” said Jim Makowski,
I need my gun. It’s critical
At all times, like a housekey;
And banning it’s political.”
Assessing this with candor,
I see debate’s no use.
Behold the Michigander:
A macho Michigoose.
“Man arrested after showering commuters with money from 30th-floor window” —The Guardian
Was anybody bruised or stunned or shocked into a seizure
Or, blind with falling paper, crushed by cars to paraplegia?
Well, maybe; but for all we know his record as offender
Is limited to harmless rains of wholly legal tender;
So if conclusions must be drawn, I offer only these:
Humanity’s perverse and quite impossible to please.
“Universities must act to eradicate discrimination against working-class students, including the mockery of regional accents, equality campaigners have said.” —The Guardian
Those whose forbears cried “Yoicks!”
Look down on the oiks
Who pronounce “bikes” as “boikes”?
They deem even a don
As more goose than swan
If a “one” comes out “wan”?
Although not Dick Van Dyke
Let us speak as we like Scouse, Brummie or Tyke.
To let student life be
Language barrier free
Shed the yoke of RP
And from Bucks, Hants and Wilts
To the land of the kilts,
Welcome burrs, brogues and lilts!
“Five distinct types of dog existed by end of last ice age, study finds” —The Guardian
At the end of the Ice Age there were
Five clearly distinct kinds of cur:
The noisy, the bouncy,
The smelly, the pouncy,
And those who shed forests of fur.
We know the pratie’s what the Irish eat. Of eighteen forty-seven they despond: No praties meant a famine so complete, They needed help from way across the Pond. Good-hearted Choctaw in a distant land Eked out their cash to help the Irish feed. Today their gift is valued at five grand … Both Navajo and Hopi now have need.
“You won’t get by alone,” the Irish said.
“And we recall we’re in your people’s debt: Long years ago you sent us cash for bread. One million’s the thanks, today, you get. And though a gift is not a loan, all told, Now we’ve repaid our debt two-hundredfold!”
