“Frozen-in tenor: Italian mayor apologises over Pavarotti statue stuck in ice rink” —The Guardian
Poor Luciano Pavarotti! He Attained the heights of opera stardom. His Vacation home caused Pesaro to be A place you’ve heard of, where his statue is Revered. The bronze was viewable (with arms Outstretched) from head to toe on every side Till planners disrespected tenor charms To build a skating rink for Christmastide In town, and now the High-Cs King is caged On ice, forlorn, submerged up to his knees, Not being viewed. His widow is enraged: It irks that skaters give high fives (not Cs) … Contrition’s shown, but they had best rethink Enclosing Pavarotti in a rink!
“… Apple has [reportedly] ‘made a breakthrough’ in foldable iPhone development, as it was able to achieve a ‘crease-free’ design, meaning the phone’s display wouldn’t have a visible crease when fully unfolded. … Unfortunately, the iPhone Fold might come at a pretty high price point. [Estimates range from $1800 to $2500].” —Mashable
We love to say We’d never pay So much, but truth be told, It’s all a bluff. With Apple stuff, We’re well aware we’ll fold.
“Brain has five ‘eras’, scientists say—with adult mode not starting until early 30s: Study suggests human brain development has four pivotal ‘turning points’ at around the ages of nine, 32, 66 and 83″ —The Guardian
Update: the world—in other words, the brain— Has stages, yes, but scientists explain That those old seven are in fact chimeras: Five’s the true number of our mental eras. First you’re an infant, puking still and mewling. Then you turn nine and gripe about your schooling. At thirty-two, you’re all grown up, so show it By acting like a soldier, or a poet. At sixty-six, it’s time for eating chicken And learning law. If still alive and kickin’ When eighty-three comes round, your life’s adventures Will shrink to hunting slippers, specs, and dentures. So that’s the scoop. Of course you’re free to spike it; We know truth isn’t always as you like it.
“A Campbell’s Soup Company executive has been put on temporary leave after he allegedly referred to the firm’s offerings as ‘shit for fucking poor people’—a remark purportedly caught on an audio recording and attributed to him in a former employee’s wrongful termination lawsuit.” —The Guardian
Who eats this shit? Poor people. I, Deservedly, am richer. You know the only can I’d buy? The Andy Warhol picture.
The chicken’s fake, the broth is poop, I’d sooner browse on brambles. If all this lands me in the soup, Please God don’t make it Campbell’s.
It’s not intended for the rich. They’re not the ones we’re wooing; It’s shit for fucking paupers—which Describes what we’ve been doing.
“Michael Leech, from Sowerby Bridge, West Yorkshire, has been named the UK bus driver of the year… ‘To be told I’d won really was a dream come true. I take a lot of pride in my job, so it’s nice to be recognised. I was excited to learn I’d won £4,100 prize money, too. I celebrated with a cup of tea with my wife.’” —The Guardian
Some winners go for pink champagne or buy a robe of pima. Some others book a dinner at that restaurant in Lima. A third group favor truffles with George Clooney on the beach; “I had a cuppa with my wife,” discloses Michael Leech.
Jeff Bezos? All of Venice is required to pleasure him in. Musk fancies Mars. For Trump, it’s blasting boats and cursing women. The tyrants of the world all vie to magnify their reach, But personally I prefer the choice of Michael Leech.
“In this issue, we want writing that captures the immensity of being alive. Think about the pulse of the ocean in your chest, a dream so vivid it feels like prophecy, the hush before something irreversible. Give us awe, give us vertigo, give us beauty with teeth. We are looking for literary work that brushes against the infinite.” —Call for submissions by Cosmic Daffodil for its Tidal Light issue
Swallow an ocean. Feel it slosh inside you. Grasp the raw immensity of life, awash in amplitude and awe.
Immerse yourself in tidal light. Embrace your vertigoes. Chase savage beauty. Let it bite your neck. Now hold that pose.
“The presence of an extraordinary circle of yawning pits created by Neolithic people near Stonehenge has been proved … Quite why will probably never be known, but [the lead researcher] speculated it may have been linked to a belief in an underworld.” —The Guardian
As there’s no Neolithic-times witness and no archaeological hoard, let’s suggest, so as not to seem witless, that the makers were just… hella bored?
“Bypassing thoughtful consideration of a syllabus by using an AI-powered syllabus generator may not be good for instructors or for students.“ —International Journal for the Scholarship of Teaching and Learning
The college wants a policy In every syllabus— An AI policy, of course— And, please don’t make a fuss.
We have AI to help you make An AI policy. Just tell the AI what you want— It’s painless, you will see.
No, no, you shouldn’t write your own, As it won’t integrate With our AI detection bot. We need to automate,
You see, as this will save us cash; The budget’s tight this year— These AI systems that we bought Have really cost us dear.
