by Scott Mahler

Judge Roy Moore,
Your excuses are simply a bore.
One thing is clear as your lies unravel:
You wanted to bang more than just your gavel.

by Chris O’Carroll

Dynasty-phantasy,
Saudi Arabia
Frowns on corruption, we
Now come to learn.

This ain’t your grandfather’s
Kleptotheocracy.
This Prince has money and
Cousins to burn.

by Phil Huffy

Matt Lauer pushed a button
to lock his office door.
Siri wouldn’t do it;
she’d heard it all before.

by Bruce McGuffin

They’re giving us trickle-down tax cuts
To fill up the working man’s cup.
But gravity can’t affect money
And somehow it always flows up.

by Charles Ghigna

Garrison Keillor
Liked to feel her.
He thought he was Don Juan.

But he was not,
And he got caught,
And now he’s woe be gone.

by Chris O’Carroll

Plan A, dismiss it as locker room chat.
Plan B, deny that I ever said that.

by Mark Granier

Mueller
the slow, gradual unspooler,
could not be cooler
or crueller.

Sanders
frowns and never meanders
off script, barely holding on by the skin
of her spin.

by Orel Protopopescu

Ryan had a little plan,
little plan, little plan,
Ryan had a little plan
to cut us at the knees.

Everywhere that Congress went,
Congress went, Congress went,
everywhere his Congress went
they lied and shot the breeze.

Why do they love their donors so,
donors so, donors so?
Why do they love their donors so?
bewildered children cried.

Why, it’s their life support you know,
sport, you know, sport, you know?
That’s the only sport they know,
their parents all replied.

by James Hamby

The jig is up, his career is through—
A liar and a traitor, too.
Flynn goaded Hillary with taunts and jeers,
Now “Lock him up!” rings in his ears.

by S.O. Fasrus

Man reached through gap between seats to grope woman on flight to Heathrow Airport—Metro

They grope on the train
and they grope in the sun,
they grope as they smoke
when they’re going for a run—
in the park, in the dark
oh they must cop a feel.
They even have a grope
when they’re out for a meal.

Grope, grope
wherever they may be,
no joke when a bloke’s on a groping spree—
it’s a smack round the chops
if they think they’re groping me
and a knee up the nads if they make so free!

by Bob McKenty

What have our Giants wrought
(By chance or by design)?
A scoring juggernought
Behind their offenseive line.

by Jerome Betts

The leopard couldn’t change his spots
Until the Army called the shots.

A coup that dared not speak its name
Has ended his and Grace’s game.

But will Zimbabwe flourish while
Their leader is a crocodile?

by Edmund Conti

It’s the same old story
That everyone knows—
In all his glory
Charlie Rose.

by Ian Graham

What can we do with Brexit
To sex it
Up?
Those cads who start at Calais
Cabal. They
Sup
On their own without us.
They doubt us.
Why?
To know us is to love us.
Don’t shove us.
Sigh.
Oh, how those wretches try us,
Deny us
Clout.
And just because we’re cleavers,
They leave us
Out.

by Orel Protopopescu

Oh I come from Alabama
with some schoolgirls on each knee…
Will you be my own sweet mama?
You look young enough for me.

McConnell wants to press reset,
but I would sooner die…
And even in my grave, still wet,
I’ll hold my pistol high!

No pajamas! This member must be free…
to screw up Alabama for religious liberty.