“Britain’s ‘loneliest sheep’ stranded on Scottish cliff for two years”
—Independent
Lest you become the loneliest of sheep On British soil, marooned along a beach, Not able to ascend back up the steep Escarpment you slid down, beyond help’s reach, Lamenting all the lambs you could have had If you had met another on the hill Equipped with what it takes to be a dad, Soliciting canoes for help until The beach runs out and makes you ewe-turn, as Slim hopes of rescue fade, and you’re forlorn … Hear my advice: Don’t be the sheep who has Escaped the shears but rues that she’s unshorn. Ewe, mimic not who’s pining for her flock— Penned in between a hard place and a rock!
“Why are whales throwing seaweed on their heads?”
—BBC
We all like fancy dress at Halloween:
We try the spooky costumes on for size,
Or make one from a sewing magazine,
And hope that our endeavors win a prize.
And whales are just as sociable as us:
They want to get dressed up and be a hit,
But when you’re twice as hefty as a bus,
It’s hard to find a fright wig that’ll fit.
“Millennium Bridge workers hang straw bales after ancient bylaw triggered
Repairs to footbridge mean straw must be dangled to warn oncoming shipping
of work going on beneath”
—The Guardian
To mend this web of tempered steel ignites an ancient law:
It first must be bedecked with bales of cautionary straw.
Oncoming shipping duly warned, discussions now begin:
Exactly which Millennium does London think it’s in?
The odds are good John Eastman‘s getting moody,
Since things look really bad for him and Rudy.
Their fake elector scheme is now on trial,
With Ken and Jenna bound to flip in style:
If “Inmate [X]” is not to be their greeting,
They’ll have to spill the beans about that meeting.
The Kraken was released but had no sting,
So now you’d best believe these birds will sing!
“[N]ever get in harm’s way by enticing or provoking a wild bear [to attack] …
You can run afoul of the law as well as the bears if you get too close and end up
paying a fine.”
—CNN
“Ancient rock carvings revealed by receding Amazon waters amid drought
Human faces and other figures believed to be up to 2,000 years old exposed
as Brazil river level hits record low”
—The Guardian
The change of climate is a curse, no doubt,
But still, there’s something to be said for drought.
Receding waters resurrect such skill:
Behold, the Bronze-Age Banksy of Brazil!
“Fourteen articulated skeletons of men, women and children—two positioned as if they were embracing—
have been found inside one of six cells or side rooms” in the ruins of a 5,000-year-old tomb.
—The Guardian
Two skeletons embrace. It’s an old story.
True love companioned with memento mori.
“‘Every square inch is covered in life’: the ageing oil rigs that became marine oases”
—The Guardian
Think of the prospects of the ageing rig,
Abandoned in the middle of the sea,
So bare, so gray, so jagged, and so big,
Unwanted even for its former work
Of sucking out the ocean’s muck and murk
To blight the air and doom posterity:
Whoever would have dreamed a thing so dead,
Activists’ ghoul, Big Oil’s discarded toy,
Could bloom into a grove, a busy bed
Of waving tendrils, colored like the dawn,
Where mollusks sprout and cod and rockfish spawn,
And young sea lions soar like shots of joy?
“Man who pretended to be mannequin in Warsaw shop window charged with theft:
Polish police hold 22-year-old accused of stealing jewellery after posing as display dummy”
—The Guardian
My super heist, in retrospect, looks crummy:
I posed inside a store display, because
I thought the staff would take me for a dummy—
Which (also retrospect) it seems I was.
“Experts have been left ‘scratching their heads’ at a mysterious humming noise
[reported by] residents of a Leeds estate. … ‘apparently it is worse at night.’”
—Yorkshire Evening Post
The experts work in shifts to find the sound.
They’ve microphones and meters by the score,
But still they aren’t making any ground.
It’s as elusive as it was before.
When each shift ends, they gather to debate
Their methods at the friendly local inn.
They’re often in the bar till very late;
They ponder, “Hmm,” and sip their beer and gin.
