by Gail White

Although you may feel that your peace has been shaken,
You know you’re not left in the lurch
When your President (moi) has his photograph taken
In front of his neighborhood church.

Your governors (dumb as a parcel of pullets)
Do nothing at all! But I’m proud
That I had the courage to spray pepper bullets
And gas on a peaceable crowd.

It’s true, my first act was to run to the basement
And turn all the lights out and hide,
But now you can see what my shelt’ring in place meant—
Sheer brilliance! And I haven’t died.

I’m truly the greatest world leader since Nero,
I’m keeping America free—
So get out the vote for your savior, your hero,
Your favorite President—ME!