BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Hearing “Court is in session. This poet’s accusedof criminal metrical guile.” “That’s one beat, correct? If I rhymed it with two, could we scrap this ridiculous trial? To my peers on the jury, when crafting your lines does it ever elicit a scowl to tap your foot once when you’re […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT The Emphysemic Dinosaur Some sixty million years ago,in a prehistoric town,where flakes of hot, volcanic ashforever tumbled down,there lived a gruff tyrannosaurwhose claws were tinted brown. This emphysemic dinosaurwas always blowing smokein spite of much admonishmentfrom fellow dino-folk.“Keep lightin’ up like that,” they’d say,“and, soon enough, you’ll croak!” But, undeterred, […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT The Cautionary Tale of Scrollin’ Joan There once was a girl called Scrollin’ Joanwhose face was always glued to her phone.From the time she was just a couple years old,day-in and day-out she scrolled and scrolled.If ever her feed would scroll to a stop,“No matter,” she’d say. “I’ll scroll to […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Extra Innings At a glistening diamond, some boys once met—a dozen and six in all.On an afternoon they would never forgetthey picked up a game of ball. The pitchers—they pitched, and the catchers—they caught;each batter—he strove for a run,but after those first nine innings were foughtthe tally was 1 to […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT A Waiter’s Plight He’d rather not have served itafter such a busy night,but still he offered them dessertbecause he felt it right,and though they didn’t want itas their belts had gotten tight,they ordered a dessert from him(but just to be polite). Clyde Always is an accomplished cartoonist, poet, painter, novelist […]
by Clyde Always “Texas teen Faizan Zaki overcomes shocking, self-inflicted flub to win Scripps National Spelling Bee”—The Associated Press This year, at the Bee, the top seedshowed off, in the finals, his speed.If the word he could spellmakes you ask “What the Hell?”—an éclaircissement‘s what you need.
by Clyde Always “NY man offered farmer Wild Turkey bourbon to let him feed girlfriend’s ex to hogs…”—New York Post A murderous scoundrel named Jeal,who gladly would toss as a mealhis foe to some swine,faces seven to nine(his accomplices went on to squeal).
Featured PoetNicole Caruso Garcia Spotlight: Nicole Caruso Garciaby Julia Griffin Book Reviewsby Barbara Loots Poems by…Clyde AlwaysBruce BennettJerome BettsElijah Perseus BlumovMarie BurdettPaul BurgessMichael CalvertDan CampionPat D’AmicoThomas DeFreitasAnna M. EvansTaryn FrazierDaniel GalefStephen GoldD.R. GoodmanJulia GriffinMax GutmannRobin Helweg-LarsenMichele HermanSteven KentNeal LevinAmit MajmudarBob McKentyDavid Hyland MitchellJohn NewsonChris O’CarrollD.A. PrinceRichard T. RingleyMark RyanJohn SavoieMatt SchatzJan SchreiberChristopher ScribnerC. Luke SoucyJulie […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT If you have a book you’d like considered for a review in Light—one that includes a large helping of comic verse and was published within the previous 12 months, or will be published in the next eight—please send a copy to:Barbara Loots4741 Central St.Ste. 601Kansas City, MO 64112(Pre-print-run electronic copies may […]
BACK | CONTENTS | NEXT Toddler with an iPad I see a toddler with a screenand think, Good God! What does that mean? Poor kid! He’ll never learn to read.Plus, he’ll be saddled with a need to always be online. No friends.We know how such a story ends: Addiction. Loneliness. Despair.Engrossed, with one hand in […]
by Clyde Always “NYPD puts out steamy, cleavage-bearing wanted poster as it looks to bust sultry robbery suspect”—New York Post Juggity-thuggity,Lucie the fugitiveshowed, in a pic that’s beenwidely discussed, two very prominentidiosyncrasies,leading police to hernewsworthy bust.
by Clyde Always “Barefoot Florida man wrangles 7-foot alligator with trash can in insane video”—New York Post Toeity-showity,Dragich of Jacksonvillewrangled a gator, sansfootwear or socks. Fans are in awe of hisextemporaneousexploit. Perhaps now he’llpick up some Crocs.
by Clyde Always “Female jogger reveals she open carries while working out—and urges other women to run with a gun: ‘Protect yourself ladies’”—New York Post Will someone please call the police?I’ve been shot and the bleeding won’t cease.To the chick with the gunwho was out on a runI exclaimed: “What a nice little piece!”
by Clyde Always “Ohio driver dropped his doughnut—and caused devastating 3-car crash that flattened 1 vehicle”—New York Post Glazity-hazity,Buckeye State motorist,irked when his donut fellunder the dash, might have experiencedhypoglycemia—sugar consumption canlead to a crash.
by Clyde Always “NYC school’s pet chicken dies in egg-laying tragedy despite parents shelling out $2K in vet bills”—New York Post Dear Parents, your children are greatly distraughtby the death of their chicken who valiantly foughtfor her life and she’ll always inhabit a spotin our hearts—now, her vet bills came out to a lotand I’m […]